Fictophile

Happy Year End 2011

2011-12-26T03:03:00.002-07:00

Dearfamily and friends, dear ones far and near

Comelisten to my story (If you would like to hear):

Thisyear began and ended in a state with lots of snow—

Yes,here I am writing from Colorado.

Moresnow indeed than I had in V-A,

Andmore of many other things soon came my way.

Earlyon found me in my ward’s primary

Butnow with my own class, of 4-5 year olds, extraordinary

MyFrench work, too, continued, but in a different way.

Yes,to preschoolers I taught lots of new words to say

Butsoon came the time when other goals arose

AndI had another opp to teach college English prose

So those are all the bland details--

Thethings you always ask

Butof more than this my life entails

Sonow I’ll these unmask

I’ve26 nephews and nieces now alive,

Withten of them near home,

Butfor Easter we had here 20.5

Yes,we were far from being alone

Withthat and other visits, I’ve had

Lots of fun being the favorite auntie,

Infact we had so much fun when clad

Asprincesses for my bday party!

InJune I got to be niece again as well

WhenI rode out to Utah to stay for a spell

InOrem I saw Grandma W., Aunt Gayle, Uncle Al

Andcousins, their kids, and a few old pals

Thenon down to Ferron to share Adam’s baptism day

Idid also do some hiking, and yes, even played.

Andso the year has passed with many things sublime

ThoughI had my troubles too, just some from time to time

Butthese, the Lord Jesus has made me pass more happily

ThroughHis servants in the Church, friends, good doctors, and my family,

Now,I hope the rhythm of this poem hasn’t lulled you all to sleep

Orworse, driven you off the deep

Butsince you’re apparently still here, I’ll wish you all the peace

MySavior brings to me,

Inthis season of happiness, joy, and good memories.

Love,

HeidiQ.

20 years!

2011-07-31T20:54:00.000-07:00

Yes, I graduated from high school 20 years ago. Am I really that old? Yes, I really am. And this weekend, my peer and I celebrated the landmark. I actually missed the biggest attended event, Saturday night, because I couldn't justify the money for a restaurant where I couldn't eat anything. But I went today to the park and was able to see some old friends and get a tour of the old stomping grounds, or uh, splashing grounds.

Seriously, we toured just about the whole building, except the most important room--the newspaper room.
But since Chad and I were the only old newsies there, I guess we can forgive. I'm sure much, much has changed about how the put out the Insight anyway. We used lightboards where we literally cut and pasted our articles that we printed from the computer lab, which was in another hallway. The newspaper room itself had one solitary computer in the tiny office where some people were able to begin messing around with publishing software, but if any, only our last edition was published with it.

I wish I could have had pictures with more old friends, but if I had only one, I'm glad it was Chad. He was a great editor-in-chief to work with, and more importantly, a great friend.

Princess Birthday Party

2011-07-24T17:14:00.000-07:00

For my birthday this week, I had the best theme ever, even since my own childhood. Early in the week, my mom called local family to see if they would like to come over and help me celebrate on Friday. (My actual birthday was Thursday, but that was a fun-filled day of work with stories for another time.) Well, as it turned out, my brother David and his son were going to go camping and so my niece was feeling sad and wanted to do something fun too. So, she and her mom had come up with the idea to have a princess party. As a result, when my mom called, Sariah said, "Would it be all right if it were a princess party?" Well, of course! Mom actually called me to verify, since I was at work at that time. But that sounded fun to me. How many grown women get away with having a princess birthday party? Happily, mom called the other locals, and John's family were able to come, too. In fact, their little girl loves to dress up, as I thought she would.

On Friday night, as I was between sleep and awake from my nap, I decided I needed to dress up pretty fancy myself, and so I showered and pulled out an old bride's maid dress I had from 1999. I even put make up on, which I very rarely do, and capped off the costume with an actual cap--a tiara. Before long, my ladies arrived, almost all dressed very prettily. One, however, had to borrow a dress from Grandma, but it turned out to be an excellent opportunity to let us have an Indian princess amongst us. It's not often we get an Indian princess at great princess parties, you know.

Of course, it wouldn't be much of a party without princes. We were quite happy to have the young men join us, too!

And, of course, the King and Queen must be included as they threw the party for us all!

First Wednesday in June 2011

2011-06-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

After two and a half months of intense weeks teaching four nights a week at Kaplan and two days at Montessori, I have the month of June off from Kaplan, leaving an interesting hole in my life. With the regular school year over for the summer, several of the Montessori kids are gone, and this week, quite a few more kids were gone on vacation, so even my Tuesdays and Thursdays had a bit of a hole. While I do feel relieved of some of the stresses, I'm also kind of missing the busyness, and more significantly, the kids. I found myself even sad about losing some of the more difficult children. In any case, on Wednesday of this week, I had to do some finish-up paperwork at Kaplan, so I took advantage of the drive down to Denver and went to the temple, and then on the way home stopped by the lost ponds that my mom had mentioned to me last week. Then, in the mood, even took some more pictures in my own front yard. Going to the temple and enjoying the great outdoors really lifted my spirits, so here are some photos that might lift yours :).

Here we go, Up and Down and Around and Around

2011-04-10T22:20:00.001-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted for awhile. I actually wrote one but then found too soon after that what I was thinking was happening wasn't permanent. Long story. Anyway, so what has happened in the last five-six weeks? Some good, some bad.

First the good news: I was hired to teach a freshman composition class at NOVA, the nearest community college. And it's six credits, so kind of like two classes, but with only one group of students. Okay, technically it is two classes, but they're back to back and it's still the same students. But it's a three hour block twice a week. Fortunately, my other job, the temp job at NAHB, was willing to work with my schedule, so now I'm there on M,T,Th, and at NOVA on W,F. Pretty nice, huh? Classes started two weeks ago, so we've met four times now. And I have a pretty good group of students. Some better than others, and some better in different ways than others.

Now, there is bad news associated with that. Should I talk about that now or give you other good news first? Mm, let's stick to one subject at a time.

So maybe some more background. The students are mostly ESOL, immigrants from other countries, and English is not their first language.

(Guess I never finished this, might as well publish though it's a few months old. I guess the old date doesn't show up after I publish, but it was written in September.)

News from Colorado

2011-04-03T16:32:00.000-07:00

So, you were thinking I'd given up on blogging. Well, you weren't far from the truth. I get the hankering from time to time, but I'm not even as good with my journal as I used to be.

Life has been pretty busy for the past couple months. Mostly good busy. At the end of January I got a job teaching French again, this time at a Montessori, to kids from 2 to 5. Quite, quite different from my last French-teaching experience. And also quite different from my last daycare/preschool experience. Fortunately I had a few songs up my sleeve, but it's been fun to try to find new French songs for children, as well as to learn new vocabulary. I've been translating picture books, putting my collection to good use, as well as translating some things already in the classroom. I guess I never thought I'd need to know the names of tools in French, but I'm sure it'll come in handy some day. I guess I can't escape the feeling that I'm still being prepared from later French needs. But in the meantime, I'm glad to keep my life filled with some variety as well as keeping up these talents tat I enjoy.

But the good news doesn't end there. On President's Day I was invited to an audition after I applied to teach Composition at Kaplan College. The audition consisted of a five-minute spiel on the five-paragraph essay. With three other competitors for this position, I was happily pleased to pass. The following night I was invited to an interview, and after I passed that, I had four weeks of training to pass (which involved more "audition"-type exercises, but using their actual curriculum) once per week, as well as some other training material. Then, on March 23, I began teaching composition again! This time I have two legitimate classes with different students in each (as opposed to NOVA's two classes which were the same students in both). However, the combined enrollment still is less than what I had at NOVA, so the stress of grading papers will be lessened. Also, their curriculum is set up to not have as many papers--only one full paper, actually, with assignments that build up to it. Pretty interesting, but I can definitely see the value to it.

So, with the preparing for teaching two different comp classes as well as some mini French lessons, and yes, even primary at Church, you can imagine I'm already a bit tired. But add to this that the Montessori is in Greeley, Kaplan is in Thornton, I live in Loveland, and I've not been able to kick a cold/flu/ not-so-good feeling since the end of January (shortly after I was hired at Montessori). Of course it's much better than when I originally got sick, but I've had a perpetual cough that didn't go away before I caught a cold that's been keeping me down. Now, add that I have family nearby, and you can see why I haven't been writing as much.

Let's not focus on the negative though. There are many good things going on. And I'm actually very glad to be close to my family. I get to see David's and John's families somewhat regularly, since they're in town. And a couple weeks ago I got to see a bit more of Nancy's family as she had her second baby! Yeah, and welcome to Dean to the world and the Quist, or Merkley family! Nancy had to have a C-section again, though, so she's needed a bit more help since Tessa's only 2, but I was glad my schedule permitted me to be in Ft. Lupton with her for a couple days to help out. I really felt a lot of peace being in her home helping.

Then, last weekend, Thom brought up his family since he had spring break. I even got to have Tailynne in my primary class! Technically, she's a Sunbeam, and I teach the CTR-4s, but it worked out easier that way. And even though she wasn't that much younger than my students, they were happy to caudal her like a baby. It made for a fun class. I felt the Spirit with them that day too.

And now, well, soon, I'll be heading over to spend some time with David's family as his birthday is coming up and it's time to celebrate!

There's a little catch up for you. Maybe pictures will follow. We'll see!

The Vast West Awaits

2010-12-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

It doesn't look as much of a tongue twister as it is until you try to say it ten times fast.

Tongue twisters aside, it's the truth, too. After eight and a half years of living on the East Coast, I'm packing my bags and returning to Colorado. It was a very hard decision, but after the year I've had, kind of inevitable. External logic aside, though, I fortunately also have felt good about it. I waffled for a bit, wondering about what I was feeling and sometimes feeling better about staying out here, but once I made a few steps to make the move and telling more people, it started feeling better.

So, next Friday, my wonderful, loving daddy-o will fly to DCA and then together we'll drive across the USA. We'll stop for a couple nights at my cousin Jenny's in Ohio, which will be fun. I haven't seen Jenny for a very long time, so I'm looking forward to catching up with her and meeting her kids. After that, we'll probably find hotels--or hopefully just one, but depending on how fast we go, it might be two. Really hopefully not more than that.

One blessing, among many, that has come with this, was finding a moving company that will load my boxes and furniture for me, and drive my stuff out to CO, for a very reasonable price--after gas is calculated in, it's less even than U-Hauling, where I'd have to pack and drive. Of course, there still will be gas, since we'll drive my car instead of towing, but, my car gets better gas mileage than U-Haul trucks, so it's still better.

Another blessing came last night when my roommate Carrie hosted a farewell party for me so I got to see many of my dear friends from the area. Most were from the Belle Haven ward, where I've been for the last three 1/2 years, but also some singles from different wards, and I think the only exception to that is my friend Justin and his wife Diana and new baby boy, whom I got to hold. Very cute kid.

It's actually significant to mention Justin for another reason. Although it's been a few years--since I don't think he was dating Diana quite yet, but he actually gave me a blessing in which I was told I would feel good about wherever I moved. Based on my graduating from Hollins and struggle with employment, I had thought I'd move earlier, but I've waited for the right feeling, and now I have it.

I'm glad I've stayed these couple of years, though, as I've been blessed with the friendships of a number of people since that time. And I've gained some experiences in other areas in my life, as well. But it will be interesting, now, to see what the Lord has in store for me back in Colorado!

Am I really getting better?

2010-07-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

Not long after I posted last, things, well, crashed.

It had been a bit of a hard day, physically. I sang as part of a trio in Relief Society, which proved an ordeal on my stomach. To add to that, there was no AC in the RS room, so as I soon as I was done singing, the stress on my gut and the no cool air shot me straight out of there and back to the primary room. (I was just called as Sharing Time leader, Yea! though I didn't have sharing time that day.) Being in the primary room was better, but not a whole lot. Even sitting down, singing any of the songs proved very hard to get enough air. So once I got home, I ate some lunch and made my way to my bed where I put my feet up and made plans to stay there for the rest of the evening, as much as I would have liked to attend a patriotic musical fireside going on that night.

I eventually pulled together some strength and got on the computer, posted that last one, and did some health research, since my stomach was hurting more and more. And laying down wasn't helping. Then, finally, after trying to get to sleep, around 11:00, after saying my prayers, I just couldn't get comfortable, so I stood up and before I knew it, I was hyperventilating and doubled over in pain, and gasping for air while I searched the house for a roommate. Fortunately, Sarah was just outside and she rushed me to the emergency room. They weren't able to find anything, but at least they gave me some drugs. Well, the better part of it was that Sarah called some friends in my phone so I was able to have the priesthood come and give me a blessing, which brought a peace and a lot of comfort.

For the proceeding two weeks, things got only slightly better. I wasn't always doubled over, but my stomach really hurt and I had a very hard time standing for very long, or carrying anything. To get to the point quickly, after an ultrasound and a CT scan, a doctor who thought I was low on electrolytes so recommended Gatorade (which didn't help), the GI doctor, for my follow-up, asked me, curiously, if I didn't think the stomach pains were a side effect of the Prilosec. Well, no actually. It hadn't occurred to me that some drug that was supposed to make my stomach feel better would have a side effect of making it worse. Call me crazy. So I asked what the side effects of Prilosec were, and he tilted his head to the side and said, "stomach pains." Oh brother.

Well, as I noted in that last post, I did have a number of other questions, and he answered some and some he deflected--the most irritating was when I asked if there was anything I could take for inflammation since acetaminophen, his previous recommendation to replace ibuprofen, is not anti-inflammatory. In response, he told me to ask my family doctor. What? So you're a doctor who diagnoses diseases that involve inflammation, and you don't know what a person can do for inflammation? I didn't actually ask him that. Instead, I named a couple that I'd found online and at Whole Foods--a turmeric-based supplement and the standard fish oil--and asked what he thought of them. The turmeric only puzzled him, but he did chime in that fish oil was good. Oh dear. I don't think I'll be seeing that doctor again.

Fortunately, his comment about the side effects got me a little curious about what the other side effects were of Prilosec, and so I did a little Google search and found the FDA site where it lists a bunch of things under a heading "for the professional" or something like that. I'm not a professional, but at least I can read and do Google searches for terms I don't know, which is exactly what I had to do. And quite fortunately one other person had had this particular side effect that I needed to know about--I don't remember and don't feel like looking it up again, but it started with an m and had to do with muscles weakening (which I did have to do a Google search on the term to learn), and for this other person, it went away when they went off Prilosec. Guess what I did next?

The next day, I still slept in a long time, but my legs were feeling much, much better off that drug. I was actually feeling quite good. The Prilosec had helped with the esophagitis so my chest was feeling good, and I had strength in my legs. Of course I expected the positive effects to wear off not long after the negative. And based on the stomach pains only, the GI doctor had actually given me Nexium samples to try. But I was reluctant to start those since two other drugs had already proven bad for me, and I had read that Nexium also had a side effect of stomach pains. I don't really want that, thank you.

And indeed, as the days have worn on, the effects of esophagitis have come back, and my chest and eating have those problems again, but I have also found a new source or direction for hope. In God's infinite mercy, he gave me a great supervisor at work, with whom I've been in touch throughout the ordeal and who has been a great blessing. It turns out, her husband sees this doctor in Alexandria who takes a more wholistic approach and uses more natural methods.

I'll confess that I've known herbalists and homeopathic believers, and I have been skeptical of their theories, but I think I must repent of that now. The more I learn about the way modern standard medical practices work, the more I'm disinclined to trust their approach of separating the body into segments that can't possibly have anything to do with each other, and chemical solutions that treat symptoms rather than problems. So Monday morning I went to see this new wholistic doctor, or one of the three in the office I should say, and I was very pleased with the attention they paid to me, listening to all of my conditions and concerns, and the friendliness of the entire staff. I don't have a whole lot of experience with their recommended solutions yet, but I'm appreciating the approach, so here's to taking a step in strange and unfamiliar medical territory.

Questions Answered, some anyway

2010-06-27T17:58:00.000-07:00

So, last I wrote I had a handful of questions and complaints. And, well, as time passes, I'm taming the complaints, and getting some answers. I still have a number of questions, though, but I'm trying to patient about those until I see my doc for the follow-up next week.

But, I will sure some good news/answers that I have received. My biggest complaint, you will recall, had to do with ibuprofen. And, admittedly, I am still lamenting its loss from my diet. However, I have found that acetaminophen actually helps more than I'd expected. I'm glad for something to help with pain in any case, even if something to reduce inflammation would be better. To that end, though, I have also found help and am grateful for the internet and friends for the answers to these prayers. I found a web page with an article that listed a number of pretty common things that help with inflammation, namely ginger, turmeric, and rosemary; fish oil, Vit. C and Vit. E, and a few less common things as well. But these I'd heard of and figured it wouldn't be too heard to implement them into my diet, especially since my primary doctor wants me eating more fish anyway.

So, initially I planned just incorporate them naturally into my diet and just bought some of the herbs and actual fish to eat. But as the week has worn on and I come to recognize the difficult of incorporating these things into the quick diet of a breakfast on the run and lunch munched on at my desk through the afternoon, I've realized that only having these things for dinner and not even always at that, is probably not going to cut it. I hadn't made any definite resolutions with this realization, but with it in mind, when my friend B... told me about a time when she'd had an inflamed thyroid and was encouraged to take 6 fish oil capsule-things a day, I realize I should probably by some of those fat pills rather than relying on just eating fish for dinner.

The immediate results of these changes, of course, have yet to make themselves as apparent as I would like, but I have confidence they will prove for positive changes in my diet. And I'm already loving the taste of turmeric mixed with thyme. I'd heard of turmeric before, and had of course tasted it in foods before without knowing it, but I'm glad now to discover it more completely. I found, but didn't buy, a supplement that is entirely turmeric and am now wondering if that might be better than fish oil--it will probably taste better in any case, just not sure if it's as effective.

I also have to give Kudos to my mom for realizing that I was not getting sufficient vitamins and minerals in my diet, which I was kind of realizing before though not able to put all the pieces together. And well, she recommended first a Multi-Vit supplement, which I'd recently read was completely ineffective, but then she suggested Ensure and so I've started drinking that pretty regularly and found a good increase in my energy level. Way to go, Mom!

And so, now I should apologize to any of you who thought you were following a great blog about books, because it hasn't really gone in that direction, has it? Obviously, my dietary dilemmas are top on my mind at the time, and reading about these things has been my most interesting study. However, never fret, because I still love fiction, and have continued to read a healthy dose of it. In fact, if you're looking for something good, I've just finished the trilogy of the Mysterious Benedict Society and would very highly recommend it. I actually listened to the whole thing rather than reading it, and really love Del Roy's voice for it. It kind of reminds me of Pres. Monson. He has his own unique voice--you would never mistake them--but the rhythm and pacing of his inflections are very similar, as well as his having a very kind old man's voice.

Cool Apron Give-Away

2010-06-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

Since food is on the mind, this is an appropriate, "on a lighter note" follow-up. My cool cousin Malauney is giving away an apron to followers of her blog. Check it out.

http://thewoodchips.blogspot.com/2010/06/giveaway-from-aprons-by-julie.html

The Latest Scoop

2010-06-15T18:34:00.000-07:00

It doesn't sound like that creative a title, I know. But, it fits, actually, since I've been eating a bit of scoops--of fat free frozen yogurt that is. And why? might you ask. Because, well, because of a number of things. It's kind of a long story, but today marked a significant point in the progression of things, so I feel a greater liberty to discuss the story now, though of course, it is still in progress.

So, you might remember reading a little while ago about my supposition about having a yeast allergy. And if I would have written earlier I would have said, "woops, I was wrong." I went to an allergist and they told me that no, I was not allergic to yeast. They thought I had Gerd--basically, acid reflux. They suggested that I take Prevacid, and so I did, even though the diagnosis didn't seem to completely jive and the medicine packaging said only to take it if you were having heart burn three or more times a week, which I wasn't, at the time. I wouldn't even have called it heartburn, just a feeling like I had a hard time breathing when I ate bread, and a few times when I ate rotisserie chicken. Not other chicken, just rotisserie chicken. And I eat rotisserie chicken so seldom because it's expensive, that I'd forgotten about it until I was at the allergist. Anyway, all very curious, I know. I did have some other symptoms, too, but I'll spare you those for now.

I had had some heartburn, quite a bit, actually, last summer, when I had bought some ultra lactase instead of the regular kind for my lactose intolerance. And the heartburn only came after taking a prescription that I've been taking every day for the past six years. (Well, minus a few months to be totally honest, when I tried going off of it but discovered that wasn't a good idea.) In any case, I thought that was just a bad chemical reaction or something. When I went back to regular lactase, or only took half an ultra, the heartburn went away.

Anyway, so I took the Prevacid, and within a few days of taking it, it seemed that wasn't such a smart decision. I got sicker than I had been before, with light headedness and stronger shortness of breath, and even more tired, if you can believe that. So I stopped and called the GI reference my doctor had given me and started to keep a food journal.

Well, not along after that, I did start getting heartburn again, and not related to any lactase-taking. And I started getting some other symptoms in the lower digestive tract, or they got significantly worse I should say, the details of which I'll spare you. I also had a recurrent sore throat, and headaches and stuff, too. Really, it was quite messy. So I became quite glad that I had made that GI appointment.

However, it was still a couple weeks to wait, and then, even at the appointment, the GI doctor wasn't able to give a definitive diagnosis, though he thought it sounded like Gerd, too. He also thought I might have another cyst, and suggested I see my gynecologist. But in the meantime, he scheduled an endoscopy for me, because it was quite clear there were digestive problems regardless of any cyst presence.

(Fortunately, I was able to see my gynecologist two days after my appointment with the GI, and she confirmed that I do not have another cyst. She also did not think it likely that my digestive symptoms were related to my endometriosis. So, at least that was cleared up.)

But the wait for an answer was still on, and the appointment for the endoscopy was first scheduled for the 29th of June, which was frightfully long to wait. Fortunately, they told me I could call on Monday to see if there were any cancellations. And when I called, there was one--for the 15th, then a little over a week later. But now, today!

Drumroll, are you ready? It's kind of yucky, so you can go away now if you want. The diagnosis based on the EGD is that I have two small ulcers in my stomach and eosinophilic esophagitis. Lovely, huh? They also took biopsies, so I suppose there might be more later, but let's hope this is all.

What are these things? you're asking. Or maybe not. Ulcers, well, you know what those are. They're kind of scary sounding to me, though. I have been doing quite a bit of internet searching to find out what might be wrong and to figure out how to eat and all that. And the thought of an ulcer had occurred to me, and I remember even searching with trepidation, hoping that would not be the case. Why? I don't know. I guess it's one of those horrible words you grow up hearing in books and TV and whatnot, so I'm preconditioned not to like the sound of it. But in reality, how is it really worse than something I hadn't heard of as a kid? Like eosinophilic esophagitis? That one should probably be a bit scarier. Well, I don't know which is scarier.

But this ee thing, what is that? I was in a bit of a semi-conscious state when the doctor told me after the procedure, so I did a little research, and it turns out it's an inflamed esophagus, an auto-immune disease, and caused by an unknown allergen. It's also related to Candida, or yeast allergy. So you see, I wasn't crazy! It's not exactly the same thing as a yeast allergy, so maybe, I'm hoping, I can eventually eat yeasted things again. But we'll see. It's also related to Gerd, so acid reflux is a symptom.

Which brings me to the point that, fortunately, the treatment for both ulcers and ee is about the same. Soft and mild foods for awhile, take Prilosec, related to Prevacid, so I'm really hoping I have a better reaction, and discontinue NSAIDs.

Yes, I can't take ibuprofen any more. That was probably worse than hearing I had those abominable ulcers. No more ibuprofen? How can I manage? Maybe some of you are die hard anti-pill people and you don't think that's a big deal. But you probably don't have endometriosis and arthritis (only diagnosed in my foot, not my hands, fortunately, though it does make exercise kind of painful). If you do, please share your secrets, because this is really killing me. For both of those diagnoses, both doctors' suggestion was Advil, as many other doctors have suggested for various other pains I've run across in my life. Doctors seem to like to tell you to take Advil. But now I have one telling me to stop, and for a very good reason. I don't want any more ulcers, and I want these to go away.

I'm not addicted to ibuprofen. I have actually gone weeks without taking it. And I even try to postpone taking it at times, even when I have pain, just to keep myself from overdoing it because I know it can cause stomach problems. But there are also periods of time when I have to take a good dose every day for a stretch. I've tried other painkillers. I had a very bad reaction to aspirin, and Aleve made me bloat something awful. Not that those matter. I can't take those any more either. I actually use topical analgesics, like sports cremes, pretty regularly, and they work okay. Not great, and nothing for headaches but they help a bit. But Tylenol, the recommended alternative, or acetaminophen, has just never worked as well for me. And so if it doesn't work as well, will I be tempted to take more than I should and then have some other bad reaction to that?

Well, I irritate myself with too much negativity, and indeed there are some very positive things. But I needed to express those concerns in order to know how to turn them around, rather than being forced to ignore the negatives. I don't think that's helpful either.

So, for positive things:
1. The blessing I received comes back to comfort me that I'll be able to handle the changes in my life.
2. My family is very supportive and have been praying for me.
3. Supportive roommates, and much thanks to them for being willing to help me out so much.
4. Supportive friends at Church--and much thanks to Karen, the RS president for so cheerfully picking me up even though she wasn't familiar with the area, and for Marissa who was willing to.

5. I have only been working part-time, so I've been able to come home and rest, as I've needed to.

And my supervisor at work has been supportive, even having some experience with Gerd--her husband, that is. And he actually doesn't take Prilosec, recommended by his first doctor, but instead found another doctor who's more homeopathic, like acupuncture. So that's actually a thought. I worry it might be kind of expensive, though, but maybe I'll try it.

6. And of course, the list goes on and on. Somehow things will work out, with God's abundant mercy.

On a lighter note, maybe we can all march to the beat of the same drum

2010-05-12T18:32:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, there was this funny situation on the streets of DC. On my way to the metro after work, I passed these protesters who were marching, and pounding on drums and wearing block signs, hanging on their shoulders to cover their front and back. They were protesting a company that didn't pay fair wages and so in front of their building. They were chanting something, but I’m not sure exactly what they were saying.

In any case, the second day, there happened to be some special deal at the bank that happened to be next door to that office. So right next to each other we had two groups of people with opposite situations, and yet, the guy trying to get positive attention for the bank was dancing to the rhythm of the protestors’ drums. It was hilarious.

Food Allergies

2010-05-09T15:12:00.000-07:00

So you might have noticed I haven't blogged for awhile. Yeah, I know. You thought I liked to write, too.
But the truth is that sometimes I don't. That is, sometimes I feel I haven't got anything to say, and sometimes I think nobody's listening anyway. And sometimes I think if I write it down, then I'll have less to talk about when I have chances to talk to people, and since I'm not very talkative, having things to talk about is always nice.

But lately, I've mostly been tired. I mean, I play my point and click games, but putting fingers to the keyboard to write something meaningful has felt like too much. Especially with this laptop with a broken hinge that I can't put on my lap very easily, making my fingers have to stretch a bit more.

So why have I been tired, and have I really been that tired? Well, yes, I have. But the good news is that I think I'm figuring out why and things should look up soon. See, I think I'm figuring out that I'm allergic to yeast. And when a person is allergic to yeast and they eat things with yeast or refined sugar in them, then one of the symptoms is that they get very tired. And since just about everything worth tasting has refined sugar in it, so it seems, I've been pretty lethargic. But then, cutting out those things can be tiring too, because what's left? Fruits and vegetables, which aren't really as filling as I'd like, especially when you can't put things on them that have refined sugar in them, and so I'm hungry and tired.

Actually, I'm exaggerating a little bit. I have found some other things I can eat, but I've also not completely cut out some things as I should because I have a limited budget and would like to eat what I have. There's also the experimentation with different things in narrowing it down to what I am allergic to and what yeast is really in--which turns out to be more than you'd think, like cheese, soy sauce, tomato sauce, peanuts, mushrooms. And I actually think there are more things than just yeast that I might be allergic to, but I'm not sure exactly what they are yet. I do get to see an allergist this week, though, so I should have a better idea pretty soon.

And I had a priesthood blessing today which helped to lift my spirits more. Actually, I should point out that with my many prayers, my spirits have been doing better gradually. But the blessing was great. There was a case of interesting timing involved in this too, because I was asked to sub in the primary and that in itself was an answer to prayers because though I hate to admit it publicly (but here I go anyway:), I'm a little burnt out on R.S. and Sunday School at the moment. I'm sure it will pass. But I really do love children and miss being around them.

So anyway, the lesson I was to teach today happened to be about healing the sick. I got the link to it last night, and since earlier in the day or maybe the day before, I'd been contemplating sickness and Jesus's point of view on them, it made me a little choked up to open the lesson to see that's what I was to teach. It seemed to be a confirmation of what I'd been thinking. I needed a blessing. I felt some minor reservation because I'd just had a father's blessing when I was at home at Easter, but it wasn't a healing blessing, and because of not only the fatigue but other symptoms as well, it seemed like that was what I needed, and it did feel wonderful and give me some needed encouragement. I mean, hey--I'm writing now, putting fingers to this awkward keyboard, so that's something already!

Once There was a Snowman....

2010-03-03T16:07:00.000-07:00

The nice thing, though, is that even though he definitely shrinks, he is the last snow remaining, so the memory can linger.

SNOW! Winter 09-10

2010-02-12T15:12:00.000-07:00

Soo--as the pictures and the news you've surely read, indicate, we've had a lot of snow here! These first three pictures (which might not be the first three any more since blogspot's made some confusing changes to how the pictures are loaded) are from December, just before Christmas. We definitely had a white Christmas! I didn't join the kids sledding down the hill, but it looked like they were having fun. I did, however, make the snow angel. We got more snow through January and early February, cancelling school a few times, and making it a little hard to get around. But until February 5 and 6, it wasn't enough to play again, but then, oh boy was it. These next three photos are from that storm.

And yes, I even made a snowman! With the help of my roommate Tammy. I suggested a carrot, but she had a better idea, pulled off the icycles from the patio, making him a snow alien! Isn't he adorable? I was actually quite anxious to make this snow man because my memory doesn't seem able to recall a time when I've actually made an upright snow man. Can you believe that? I grew up in Colorado and attended college in Utah, big snow states. And yes, fortunately, I can answer that I skiied every time someone asks, which is almost every time. But I don't remember a snow man, which curiously, no one ever seems to ask. I do recall my brother making forts, and I remember making a lying down snow man because the snow wouldn't let us make him stand upright, and well, that served our purposes well enough. And I made a snow shark with my nephew once. But helas, finally, I have made an upright snow man! I found the time to do that actually on Tuesday, I think, and then the next day we got, yes, another snow storm. Can you believe it? Now, our alien is just a small hill in a new covering of snow--see below--right and left, respectively.

Beauty

2010-01-23T02:08:00.000-07:00

As I was in the temple the other day, I was working with a woman who was completely wrinkled. Every inch of her face was a wrinkle, it seemed. But, she was glowing with happiness and kindness and I couldn't help but think she was beautiful for that. Seeing her wrinkles, however, reminded me of an ad that's popped up on websites frequently, that shows the difference this product can make for wrinkled skin. (Curiously, there's also a disclaimer on the ad that says the results aren't typical. Ha!) Nonetheless, it does target this supposition in society that wrinkles aren't attractive, so people must not want them. But thinking about this woman, I tried to imagine her wrinkle-free, and it just seemed to me that it wouldn't make a bit of difference. If anything, she was more beautiful for her wrinkles. But really, her kindness and happiness--that is, having the Spirit of the Lord with her is what made her beautiful. She simply glowed with it.

Then, I took another step in my thinking. Is the wrinkle-free, shininess that is advertised as making one beautiful a way of women trying to target that glow they know they want, but with a misunderstanding of the source? Is there something innate in us that sees the glowing aspect of beautiful people that makes us want to emulate it, but without a knowledge of where it comes from, it's pretty hard to replicate. You can draw the conclusions you want from here, but I just thought I'd share some ponderings.

Books I've Finished Reading in 2009

2010-01-17T00:40:00.000-07:00

Just for record keeping's sake, I'm pasting the list I'd kept on the sidebar here. Don't think I'm a crazy reader, though maybe I am. A lot of these are short, though--picture books or easy readers. With all my tutoring and teaching ESL this summer, I've tried to keep track of the books I read. Might help me recall some good ones in later times if the opportunities arise again. Also, I did a lot of books on CD this year, driving to and from work and just around town.

A Friend for Dragon; Dav Pilkey
A Snout for Chocolate; Denys Cazet
A Year Down Yonder; Richard Peck
All Things Bright and Beautiful; Cecil Alexander, ill. Anna Vojtech
Appointment with Death; Agatha Christie
Austenland; Shannon Hale
Bear Snores On; Karma Wilson
Bee-bim Bop!; Linda Sue Park; Ho Baek Lee
Blink; Malcolm Gladwell
Bones and the Math Test Mystery; David A. Adler; Barbara Johansen Newman
Boo to a Goose; Mem Fox and David Miller
Book of a Thousand Days, Shannon Hale
Born Blue, Han Nolan
Clarice Bean Spells Trouble; Lauren Child
Clarice Bean, Don't Look Now; Lauren Child
Clifford's Happy Easter; Norman Bridwell
Consider Love; Sandra Boynton
Crash; Jerry Spinelli
Crispin and the Cross of Lead; Avi
Crispin at the Edge of the World; Avi
Dancing on the Edge; Han Nolan
Dragon's Fat Cat; Dav Pilkey
Dragon's Merry Christmas; Dav Pilkey
FableHaven, Grip of the Shadow Plague; Brandon Mull
Fablehaven: Rise of the Evening Star (Fablehaven, #2); Brandon Mull
Fairy Dust and the Quest for the Egg; Gail Carson Levine
Fancy Nancy at the Museum; Jane O'Connor
Fancy Nancy Sees Stars; Jane O'Connor
Flat Stanley: Jeff Brown
Flipped; Wendelin van Draanen
Flush; Carl Hiassen
For Biddle's Sake; Gail Carson Levine
Good Night, Washington DC; Adam Gamble
Gregor and the Curse of the Warmbloods; Suzanne Collins
Gregor and the Marks of Secret; Suzanne Collins
Gregor and the Prophecy of Bane (Book II); Suzanne Collins
Hercule Poirot's Christmas; Agatha Christie
Hiroshima; Laurence Yep
Hooray for Fly Guy; Tedd Arnold
Huggly Gets Dressed; Tedd Arnold
Iris and Walter, the School Play; Elissa Haden Guest; Christine Davenier
Jody's Beans; Malachy Doyle; Judith Allibone
Julep O'Toole Miss Independent; Trudi Trueit
Julep O'Toole: Confessions of a Middle Child; Trudi Trueit
Just Me and My Little Brother; Mercer Mayer
Le Petit Prince, Antoine de St. Expuery
Leaf Man; Lois Ehlert
Letters from Rapunzel; Sara Lewis Holmes
Little Monster's Neighborhood; Mercer Mayer
Little Rat Sets Sail; Monika Bang-Campbell; Molly Bang
Little Whistle's Dinner Party; Cynthia Rylant, Tim Bowers
Little Witch Goes to School; Deborah Hautzig; Sylvie Wickstrom
Llama Llama Red Pajama; Anna Dewdney
Madeline; Ludwig Bemelmans
Marvin K. Mooney will you please go now!; Dr. Seuss
Max the Great; W.L. Heath
Millie Waits for the Mail; Alexander Steffensmeier
Mississippi Trial, 1955; Chris Crowe
Money Troubles; Bill Cosby; Varnette P. Honeywood
Moon Glowing; Elizabeth Partridge and Joan Paley
Nake Mole Rat Gets Dressed; Mo Willems
Nate the Great and the MIssing Key; Marjorie Weinman Sharmat; Marc Simont
Nate the Great Saves the King of Sweden; Marjorie Weinman Sharmat; Marc Simont
Now You See It...; Vivian Vande Velde
One of the Third Grade Thonkers; Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Pish and Posh Wish for Fairy Wings; Barbara Bottner and Gerald Kruglik
Pollyanna; Eleanor Porter
Redwall; Brian Jacques
Scat; Carl Hiassen
Seven-Day Magic; Edgar Eager
Spiderwick Chronicles #1; The Field Guide; Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi
Spiderwick Chronicles #2, The Seeing Stone; Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black
Spiderwick Chronicles #3, Lucinda's Secret; Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black
Stan the Hot Dog Man; Ethel and Leonard Kessler
Tales from the Hood; Michael Buckley
Teachings of the Presidents of the Church, Joseph Smith
Tess of the D'Urbervilles; Thomas Hardy
The Bear Snores On; Karma Wilson
The Berenstain Bears and the D... The Berenstain Bears and the Double Dare; Stan and Jan Berenstain
The Berenstain Bears and the In-Crowd; Stan and Jan Berenstain
The Cat Who Went into a Closet (Reader's Digest Book version); Lilian Jackson Braun
The Dark Hills Divide; Patrick Carman
The Everafter War; Michael Buckley
The Fairy's Mistake; Gail Carson Levine
The Foot Book; Dr. Seuss
The Frog Prince; Gillian McKnight
The Graveyard Book; Neil Gaiman
The Last Book in the Universe; Rodman Philbrick
The Long Winter, Laura Ingalls Wilder
The Midwife's Apprentice; Karen Cushman
The Nake Mole Rat Letters; Mary Amato
The Name Jar; Yangsook Choi
The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency; Alexander McCall Smith
The Princess Test; Gail Carson Levine
The Secret of the Old Clock; Carolyn Keene
The Silly Gooses; Dav Pilkey
The Three Silly Girls Grubb; John and Ann Hassett
The View from Saturday; E.L. Konigsburg
The Warrior Maiden; Ellen Schecter; Laura Kelly
The Wednesday Letters; Jason Wright
The Willoughbys; Lois Lowry
The Witch of Blackbird Pond; Elizabeth George Speare
The Worst Witch Saves the Day; Jill Murphy
The Year of the Dog; Grace Lin
There was an Old Lady who Swallowed Fly Guy; Tedd Arnold
Things are Gonna Get Ugly; Hillary Homzie
Three Stories You Can Read to Your Cat; Sara Swan Miller
Toot & Puddle: Charming Opal; Holly Hobbie
Waiting for Normal; Leslie Connor
We the Kids; Founding Fathers and David Catrow
When Zachary Beaver Came to Town; Kimberly Willis Holt
Where the Wild Things Are; Maurice Sendak
Whoosh Went the Wind! Sally Derby and Vincent Nguyen
words + math + seasons = mathematickles!; Betsy Franco and Steven Salerno
Young Cam Jensen and the Ice Skate Mystery; David Alder

It's a Wonderful Life

2009-12-29T17:08:00.000-07:00

Since I watched this movie in its seasonal norm a few weeks ago, I've been thinking a lot about it. I've always liked it, since I was little and it played on regular TV every Christmas time. I especially liked the end, where George got to see what a wonderful life he led. How different the world would have been without him. And now as an adult, I watch it, and I still like the end. I got the tingly happy feeling watching all his neighbors bring their few dollars and tell him how grateful they are for him.

But I'm a little more perplexed as an adult, particularly by one of the last lines of the narrator that reminds us of the everyman spin onto it. Let me see if I can explain. There are a number of reasons that people enjoy pieces of fiction (books, movies, etc.) For some pieces, it's the escapist quality, the adventure, and for others its the pulls at the heart strings. In most cases, though, regardless the genre, there is an appeal to the everyman. In an adventure, it's a temporary opportunity to imagine yourself heroically, or doing something out of the mundane. The heart string pullers are a little closer to reality, having the "this really could happen to you" feel about them. But still, they're a pull from the mundane. Whatever the case, the audience pulls themselves into the story. Facebook quizmakers are very well aware of this as they don't seem to have an end to the number of "Which character are you?" quizzes and people continue to love taking them.

So what is the everyman take home from It's a Wonderful Life? It's not too much of a great adventure. In fact, one of the great conflicts is that George never gets to go on the travelling adventures he's always wanted to. So, it seems to fit more tidily into the "This could happen to you." And indeed, as the narrator tries to convince us in his summary, who, in their everyday everyman life doesn't want to feel like their pittance of an existence has made a great mark on the world?

This is what perplexes me, though. See, it's not quite as tidy as that. Although a young person watching it can be inspired to live a selfless life, as George did, giving to others for the sake of his love for them, not everyone will be able to look back on their life with the same results. How many people can say they've saved the life of a war hero who went on to save hundreds of other lives? How many people are able to save a city from being clutched in the grasp of a greedy monopolizer? Seeing these big things as the marks of a "wonderful life" can leave the everyman feeling his life is not quite so big a stick as that.

Nonetheless, I don't think we can stop here and write off the movie as not up to snuff. There's something that's just under the surface that needs to come up. And that is what makes it a great story. That is, what is it that makes George feel as if his life is wonderful? Is it realizing the good he's done? No, I don't think so. He does have some kind of recognition here. But that's not what brings about his change of heart. It comes to a culmination when he sees Mary unhappy and his heart yearns to have her and make her happy again, when he realizes how happy she's made him. And then it continues there to his other friends--it's not how much good he's done for them that he rejoices in, but how happy they made him: the reasons that he did the good deeds he spent his life doing, because he loved them.

This too is why this is such a great Christmas movie. Many movies have a Christmas scene in them, and sometimes they get lumped into the Christmas movie category and sometimes they don't. It's a Wonderful Life, as far as setting goes, could fall in with those. It has a Christmas scene, which happens to be at the end. But it's the focus of the whole movie. No, what makes this a Christmas movie is the theme--the demonstration of the Savior's love through a single person. There was an angel, though not a Christmas angel, but he served to represent how the Savior makes our lives wonderful, by providing us with people we can love, if we choose to, by providing us with opportunities to help each other. Not all of us will have life-saving opportunities, not in the grandiose sense, but we can all in our small ways make our lives wonderful by choosing to be grateful for the lives of the loved ones around us.

Fun with French

2009-11-01T18:20:00.000-07:00

My first NOVA class is finished and I haven't written anything about it since I started! How did that happen? Well, it's called--this isn't my only journal. I have written elsewhere. But maybe I should share a few things with you about it. I had seven wonderful students enrolled in my Introductory French course, and we covered a lot of ground together.

So much ground that I'm positive some of the things that came up as questions or during my preparations as seemingly significant to teach, I'm positive I didn't learn in my introductory French course back in 8th grade, and yet we met in that class for an hour every week day for an entire semester. What on earth did we do in all that time we had? I have to confess that I wonder that about a lot of subjects. But that is for a different conversation.

I think those things came up just because of this man named Murphy. You've probably heard of him. He has a law. That is, as I feared, students asked me questions I didn't know the answers to. It has been a few years since I was regularly conversing in French, and even more since I studied it.

Still, I think I didn't do too badly. After all, it's not like they were asking these questions because we moved so quickly as to bypass my abilities. No, they still had a hard enough time learning the things I was trying to teach them--things I did know. I think that's a unique problem to teaching adults. They just know enough to ask obscure questions--like the gentleman who had a litany of military-related questions. I'm not really much of a historian, let alone a military historian, and much less a French military historian. True, I probably should have brushed up a bit on the masculine/feminine case of a few words I got stumped on, but no, I'm not so sure it was all that big of a slight that I didn't know all the answers.

At least they were learning something, and I could definitely tell in this case. That's a nice thing about taking people who start with next to nothing in a subject--you know when they make progress.

And still, in spite of the embarrassing questions, I had fun--even learning answers to those questions, as well as finding things as I prepared for the classes that I didn't know. For example, I had thought that lavabo was the word for sink, of any kind. So when I was in France, I never completely understood the funny looks I got when I used the word to refer to the kitchen sink. Eventually I stopped using it and just used "bobiné" if necessary, since I'd at least gathered as much as to know that that probably meant tap, since when they gave me tap water they said it was "du bobiné." But I learned that evier is the word for a kitchen sink. Who knew? What's the big difference, I don't know. But there you have it.

There were a few other obscure words I learned, as well as I had refreshers of lessons I learned back in the 8th grade that for whatever reason haven't come up as significant since then. Isn't language interesting?

One of the best things I learned from teaching, however, is that some students can actually be forgiving of blunders and embarrassments, and keep on smiling as you push forward. Maybe because French is such a beautiful language, it's a little easier to see le prof en rose.

Substitute Teaching

2009-10-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

Why are Substitute like diapers? Because they catch a lot of crap from kids

But it's a lot harder to change these diapers because these kids are old enough they should know how to act by now. So with that, and the load I take on from them, I can't always change the diaper quickly enough, so I start to stink.

Okay, that wasn't terribly pleasant an opener, was it?
Well, I'll try to be more positive. I have had some good experiences subbing lately, but it is pretty tough.

A few weeks ago, while a Spanish class was Venn diagraming the differences between the US and Spain, I thought I'd draw my own Venn Diagram (They seem to be popular in this district--I've subbed for several classes who have had to make one for something or other). Mine is on the similarities and differences between my school experience between elementary and high school, and the schools where I've been subbing. The things that are somewhat in the middle but hanging over into the Con Ball side mean that those things are at some PG schools but not all.

Can you get a little bit of a sense of what difficulties I've encountered? There was no such thing as an ipod or a cell phone or a PDS when I was in school, so no teachers had to take these things away. There were toys, of course, and you can be sure teachers took them away. Why students think they "need" their phones for emergencies now when we've gotten by without them for so long is beyond me. But it's not just student silliness that causes problems, as you can see. It's the nature of the whole beast. In the first class I subbed for this school year, a class I had for three weeks, several kids consistently did not bring their books to class. So I tried getting into their brain that this class was ESOL and the most important book for them to bring to ESOL was the ESOL book. Get your other books from your locker after class. But then I heard an administrator in the hall get after a kid for getting into his locker between classes. There's no winning. I can see to a degree why they have minimal time in their lockers. But it's also a pretty tough burden on those kids to make them carry all of their books to every class.

And there's this other issue. Aside from typical disruptive students, one of the big disruptions is having several children one after the other raise their hand, or approach you without raising their hand, to ask to use the restroom. You think you're onto something good and then bop--it's only a restroom break. Maybe the children need some more diapers in these classrooms.

Socks

2009-10-18T14:01:00.001-07:00

As the cold weather has hit again, I've had socks on the brain quite a bit. Why? Because I'm not terribly fond of socks. Generally speaking. There are some socks that I like, however, and I love getting warm, fun socks as gifts. But generally, I'm a barefoot baby, quite happy to run around with pebbles poking my arches.

Why do I not like socks?

1. They're the key to letting people know my pants are sometimes not long enough

2. Finding the right ones to match whatever I'm wearing is tricking and expensive

3. Wearing shoes and socks makes my feet stink.

4. They're either too thick or too thin--either can't fit into my shoes, or so thin they're falling down my ankles all the time.

5. When they get holes, I'm annoyed with the hole all day, and probably longer because I don't want to throw them out and pay money to replace them, especially if they happen to match something.

6. They look funny with skirts and dresses which means I have to have pantyhose, which are even worse.

7. Pairs get split up all over the place

in the wash

in the bed

behind the bed

between the shower and the hamper

8. If I'm wearing only socks and I have to go outside, they get dirtier or sopping wet a lot faster than if I'm only wearing shoes.

9. I have nice looking ankles without the socks.

Why do I, therefore, like socks that are gifts, or fun socks?

1. These socks are cute, so it doesn't matter if they match anything. I'm not wearing them for that.

2. They keep my feet warm enough that I don't have to wear shoes, too.

3. They make people smile.

4. Of course, they still get lost and separated. Especially because these are often night socks that are bound to be worn into bed. But because they're colorful and fun, I can usually notice readily when they're missing and see them as they stand out in the mess of sheets, etc.

Happy Birthday Cyndi!

2009-10-11T18:02:00.000-07:00

The last but not least, my sister Cyndi. That is, since I started with John whose birthday is later this month, Cyndi is the final immediate family member to be recognized in her birthday month.

Cyndi is the child right after me in birth order, number four. We're just over two years apart, and so we tended to play dolls and house together a lot. We also had next door neighbors that had girls each of our ages, so we went together over to the Menkes a lot to play with Jenny and Becky. But even on Sundays, when we didn't play with neighbors, we had our box houses in the basement and played quite a bit. Although I think I shared a room longer with Kim, I did also share with Cyndi, especially after Kim moved out.

This is not to say, however, that we were best of friends. No, I was probably more often the annoying big sister who liked things quiet so I could get my homework done, and who didn't always like her music, and was jealous of her popularity, jealous that our big brother seemed to like her better, that she was cuter, or something. Typical sibling rivalries. And yet she still loved me and missed me when I went away to college. Will wonders never cease.

But Cyndi has always been a cheerful person and she turned out quite all right.

I have nice memories of her coming with my mom to help out when I had my car accident back in 1993--her senior year in high school. The next year, when she was at Ricks, she came down with a friend to visit me, and we braved a little car wreck together. Poor Cyndi, sitting up front, got a taste of air bag face. She still looked cute, of course.

Since her husband and I are about the same age, we both graduate with bachelors' at about the same time, so when I moved home after BYU, he was starting his graduate work, and it just happened to be at Denver University, so in 1998 and 99, we were once again in the same state, and not that far apart. I went down there a few times to watch her oldest and then second after he was born. And they, of course, came up from time to time. Those were fun times.

Now, she's on the other side of the country from me, but we talk occasionally on the phone, and communicate through our myfamily website. She's a fun and bubbly mom of five wonderful kids, four of whom she has enrolled in soccer right now. Plus she's doing a pre-school again for her fourth child, and taking care of a one year old (her fifth). Amazing!

Most recently, I saw her at the reunion in Colorado this summer. I had fun playing with her kids and laughing with Cyndi at things. She has a very fun, catchy laugh, and I love her to death! Happy Birthday, Cyndi!

Busy-ness!

2009-09-13T14:14:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks I've had what I wrote awhile ago about only hoping for--busy-ness. And I've learned to be careful what you wish for. Well, it's actually been a blessing in a few ways. A week after the Korean kids left, school started in PG's county, where I subbed and will sub. But, as you can imagine, it will take some time before teachers need subs. So, although I had a few tutoring assignments that carried through for a week or two after (and picked up a new one that will go through the school year), it wasn't really a lot of work. Fortunately, however, as I was volunteering at the library that week, a man came in looking for a typist for a book he's working on. Although the librarians are technically not supposed to recommend companies or people--endorsement concerns--since the librarian knew I was in need of work and figured that I was probably a decent typist considering my experiences and interests (she was right, of course--I can do 70 wpm)--she went over to where I was shelf-reading and asked if I wanted to talk to him. So I did, and to make it short--for the last two weeks I've had typing work. The timing, as indicated, was of course, fantastic as far as employment in general, but also because I've started teaching my NOVA continuing ed (workforce development) courses this week, so I've needed time at home to get those ready, so working from home these two weeks has been great. It's also good because I tend to like to mess around on the computer, and so it's nice to have something productive to do--typing at home--which has more or less forced me to drop out of some silly farming games on Facebook that I was really looking for an excuse to drop.

The things I've been typing, too, have been kind of interesting. But also kind of depressing. It's about this man's efforts to change the name of one of the Senate buildings because the name after whom it's named was a terrible racist. When that effort didn't bring the immediate desired results, after a year, he switched gears to seeking for an apology from the Senate for not passing anti-lynching legislation in spite of several efforts to pass such a bill. I don't have a lot of experience or understanding about the workings of the government, so this has been educational in that regard, too, but it seems, based on my reading, that the Senate was seriously messed up considering the ability of one senator to block bills through filibustering. I think filibustering laws/rules have changed since that time, so hopefully they're better. But seriously, seriously, that was messed up. To think that one man could basically throw a temper tantrum--though a "mature" version of one-- just talking for hours on end--in order to get his way, well, as I'm indicating, it's all rather childish. Considering my lack of knowledge on the subject, this post might seem a little childish, though hopefully more child-"like," but I seriously hope that laws have changed to make it a lot harder for one hard-headed, hair-brained nut to keep a good bill from passing.

The man for whom I've been doing this typing asked me, after the first batch of typing--last week--if I would collaborate with him on bringing this book about, and I agreed. As I've typed this second half, though, I've been wondering if that was the right decision. It's all rather complicated to know, sometimes, what's really good and what's specious. Reading about the terrible things this man did, and about the terrible things themselves--the lynchings--is all rather depressing. These are terrible, terrible things--is there a word strong enough to describe the horribleness of it?--that people in American history did. If I understand correctly, the man's point in writing is to bring these aspects of our history to more people's attention--for history's sake. On one hand, I can see the value of that. It is good to know even the negative things about our history, isn't it? But why? Before I can move forward with the collaboration, I need to understand the why more clearly, more thoroughly. So we don't repeat it, of course, is one of the standard reasons for history, but I think I need a better understanding than that. Something to help me understand how "If there is anything virtuous lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy" applies to this situation. So that I understand how to present it in a non-hypocritical way--with love rather than hate.

Happy Birthday Thom

2009-08-26T14:29:00.001-07:00

As is becoming my habit, I'm a few days late, but I can't forget my brother Thom! He's the brother who is exactly like me in every way! Okay, no, he's not my twin. He's actually about nine years younger. Ten for a month. But we both have summer birthdays! And we were both English majors, both are creative writers, and like fantasy. I tend to like lower fantasy, which he does too, but I think he might like some higher fantasy too. Anyway, we also both served missions, and we're both the third child. Yes, I can hear your "huh?" According to some birth order theories, there are only four possible children in every family and then it starts over. It can also start over a certain amount of time passes between births--like a lot of time. Anyway, since my parents had eight children, Thom and I are both the third child. Get it? I might even have explained this before on here. I have had to explain it on occasion.

Anyway, obviously, we have many differences, too, even aside from the boy-girl thing. He's married and has a wonderful wife and a sweet daughter and another on the way. He's got a very upbeat personality, loves to sing, and act. He even just got hired as the acting coach for the high school where he lives. Otherwise, he teaches middle grade English. So, we're both teachers, too--though he actually has a certification. Anyway, anyway, so I really love my brother Thom.

Let's see, what's one of my favorite memories? Well, going to his house over Christmas break in 2007, when he was still finishing up his degree and they lived in a tiny apartment down in Alamosa, was a good memory. We even had each other's names for the gift exchange, and he condescended to liking the aprons I made for him and his wife. I actually like them, too, but you never know with homemade things and particularly aprons for me. I had tried to make a bow tie for him, but it didn't work. I thought he looked cute in the apron anyway. He got me a couple books, one from Elder Wirthlin, who passed away recently, so that was good timing, and the other was the first in the FableHaven series which I'm continuing on now as we speak--very good series. Captivating.

I also have nice memories of Thom when he was little. He was an adorable little boy. I left home for college when he was young, like 8 or so, I think, though I bounced in and out of the house during his middle school and high school years. During that time, I remember shaving his face--yes he was quite brave. It wasn't like I was inexperienced, though. I shaved the faces of many willing young men in my ward at BYU around that time. With a women's razor even. Beat that! I also did the little braid things in Thom's hair once, as I did John's, and I might even have dyed his hair a tinge. Yes, I think I did.

Most recently, I saw him at the family reunion, which I neglected to document on the blog, for various reasons, but anyway, we had a great time. He was in charge of the Q-lympics and did a fantastic job with that. We partnered in an event of doing word puzzles and rocked the house with that one! (How could two such intelligent English major types not?) :)

Anyway, Thom is great, Thom is awesome. I hope he had a great birthday!

Summer Summary

2009-08-19T13:17:00.000-07:00

From the end of June to the end of August, about 10 weeks, I taught English to some Korean kids who came over for the summer specifically to learn English through a Tae Kwon Do program. With some exceptions where I've shared the teaching with a friend, such as for the week break for my family reunion, I taught for three hours a day Monday through Thursday, so four times a week. In addition to this job, I also had at least two tutoring jobs going on at a time. so it's been a summer of teaching. And I've learned a lot, I think.

For the first three weeks of teaching the Koreans, I think, I had only four students. Three of them were at the same level, twelve-year old kids who had an advanced beginner level. And the other was an eight-nine year old who was very, very beginner; she knew some words. In the middle of week three, I received three new students. They were mostly at the same level as the three advanced beginners. Then the week after they came, I got one more student, the day before I left on vacation actually. She was the same age as the other children, but her level seemed to be closer to the one very beginning student, though not quite as low.

Needless to say, the situation provided numerous challenges for me as well as for them. To begin with, filling three hours four times a week with English lessons is quite a bit, particularly since I don't speak a lick of Korean. Most schools usually try to switch the subject every hour or hour and a half. Well, in university, you might get some three hour seminars, but overall, for these children, three hours is pretty intense on a foreign language they're not very proficient in, and tough on a teacher to find things to do to fill that time.

By the second week, much thanks to my friend Marissa, I got down a bit of a routine, and so for the middle hour of every day from then on out, we spent reading, writing about the reading, and doing some listening comprehension. Of course that meant spending quite a bit of time in the library, trying to find not only books at their reading level, but books that weren't too babyish. If there's one thing I've learned this summer, it's that there is a definite need for early readers geared to learners of English as a foreign language. Twelve-year olds generally don't enjoy the same reading materials as first and second grade children do. Fortunately, there were a handful that fit the bill, and the children were otherwise compliant because they didn't have any other choice. I remain convicted, nonetheless, that reading is an excellent way to acquire a familiarity that paves the way to a better understanding of language in several facets.

Since two of the kids I tutored this summer were working on writing, I used books a lot to help them as well. As long as the books follow basic grammar rules (not all do, since many try to mimic colloquial speech), they're very helpful for early writers.

Even for the children for whom the subject matter was more appropriate (and even for them there was a degree of challenge as each child has different tastes), there also seems to be a need for standardization of reading levels. There are a number of books that have numbers on them to indicate the reading level--one to three, mostly. Only saw one level four. These numbers were sometimes helpful, but sometimes woefully misleading. Because publishers have no obligation to follow prescribed government educational standards, the numbers have relatively little meaning comparing across publishers. Although I don't have a teaching certificate, I imagine that even if publishers wanted to follow government standards, there would be problems since education is administered and governed on three different standard levels--federal, state, and school district. Aside from that, or maybe along with that, though I understand completely why it doesn't happen, it would also have helped a lot if the library had different sections for the different reader levels. Ah, oh well.

So, for the Korean, although the reading hour did have its challenges, I still felt like that was one of the easiest things about the day--it was set that that's what we would do for the second hour, which made planning easier. And I enjoyed looking for books and finding so many new things out there. Another good thing was that it enabled me to devote about a half an hour of the time per day in a one-on-one reading with the beginner, while everyone else read silently.

The program at Hollins didn't have any classes on early/easy readers. These kind of books are not generally very "literary" so I can understand to a certain degree. But I think there is room to include the kind of book in a children's literature program. They definitely contribute to the culture of children learning through books. Even the Korean kids had seen Frog and Toad before. That should tell you something.

Things got more complicated, though, when I came back from vacation and had basically two beginners. For a couple days after I got back, the new beginner (Mary--not her real name) sat with me and the young girl (Angela--not her real name), but Mary wasn't patient with Angela's reading and kept telling her what all the words were. Angela didn't mind. It didn't seem mean, but that really wasn't helping her. Since Mary was able to read by herself without help, I sent her back to her seat. But she wasn't very happy there. Although she could read, the writing assignments were very hard for her, and she had a terrible time understanding me during the rest of the time, so I felt like I wasn't very helpful to her at all. At least while the other newer arrivals were there, though, she was getting some help from them as I paired them off for study techniques.

But then, a week or so after I came back, the three students who had come in the third week left, leaving me with my four originals plus Mary. And well, by this time, my three more advanced originals were doing pretty well, and I wanted to build on the momentum they were gathering, but the beginners didn't seem to making a whole lot of progress. In some ways, even the easy things I introduced became daunting to them because they had come to assume that if I was teaching the other kids, it was too hard for them, which certainly wasn't true for everything. I did a whole week that was entirely vocabulary, for example--well, maybe a little grammar mixed in, but review more than introducing new grammar.

I ended up lessening my time with Angela in reading, though I started to help her write simple things about what she'd read. But this enabled me to be closer to Mary and the other kids, so while Angela would write a word or two, I could help Mary with her assignments. For the most part, I think Mary still felt frustrated, and I don't blame her at all. This all was only for a summer and a few hours a day, but it gave me a little taste of some of the frustrations both students and teachers must have felt, and I suppose in many places in the world still do--as they use one room school houses.

Nonetheless, in spite of all this, I had a lot of fun, both with the kids and with the putting lessons together and learning more about the grammar I thought I knew. A lot of the lessons I prepared, grammar that is, were based on things that I'd heard or seen in their writing that they were doing incorrectly. From this, I knew a teacher at some point must have introduced the concept to them and either the teacher or the student had missed some of the finer points. Nonetheless, since they'd established a basis, I knew I could build on it.

But it stretched my brain to think about why the things they were saying or writing were wrong. I've been correcting incorrect things for a long time, editing papers and such, and I've even been able to explain a lot of things to my peers to help them understand their mistakes. But since in most of those cases, my peers were native English speakers, there were a number of basic mistakes in the Korean's work I've never had to address. How, for example, do we use "many" "any" "much" "some" etc. And when do we use "was/were" plus "ing" rather than the simple past tense? In the beginning, they seemed to prefer using the was/were plus ing whenever I told them to use past tense, but 99% of the time, it wasn't right. After a couple weeks or so of that, I just told them not to use was/were plus ing at all so they could get the simple past down. And that in itself was important since even more than using the ing, they preferred to use the present tense. In fact, even up to the final spoke test I gave them on the last day of class, even though we've worked on past tense all summer, still when I asked them to verbalize a summary of a story we've read or listened to, or tell me about their trips or weekends, they related it in the present tense. They definitely learned things, though, and I definitely saw improvement, even in how they used past tense when they did use it. They used was and were less often--present or past tense. (They tended to put it after the subject just about all the time at first.) And their vocabulary increased. And, as their Tae Kwon Do master said, they increased in confidence.

That was actually an interesting conversation. Many times during the summer, every day for some stretches, I went to the studio before class to make copies and from time to time ran into the Tae Kwon Do master. He was always very gracious and grateful with me, which I appreciated, particularly since I felt somewhat self-conscious about my abilities, particularly with the students' different levels. But just before the last week, I ran into him and he told me they were doing very well and that he felt they would return to Korea with greater confidence. And that was the most important thing. He didn't say greater confidence in their abilities with English--just greater confidence. Coming from a Tae Kown Do master, that made sense that that would the ultimate aim, but I hadn't actually thought about it that way before.

The children obviously struggled. They didn't learn everything I tried teaching them. But they had matured. Is that what learning is about? Improving our confidence? I have to say that's a pretty good observation. Pretty wise, even. In all that we go about learning, even if we don't get things down 100%, we gain experience and maturity. In the end, well, speaking of languages specifically, God knows so many languages--and, well, he understands everyone, even if they don't have any language--learning one other language to our native tongue is hardly a chink in the wall toward thoroughly understanding everyone. But still, it's a chink, and we can start to see that God's helping us little by little, we can gain confidence and maturity and that's something. It really is.

Independence and Independence

2009-07-05T18:34:00.000-07:00

The irony didn't occur to me until just now, as I tried to think of a title for this post. That is, as we as a nation celebrated our independence, a group of LDS singles between 31 and 45 gathered in the DC area for a conference, and for many of us the purpose of attending was at least in part as a means of seeking a diminishment of our independence. Is there a contradiction here? Not really. Absolute independence isn't anyone's aim, and shouldn't be. I happened to catch the last 10 minutes of a Twilight Zone episode on Friday, part of a Twilight Zone marathon day on the SciFi channel, wherein a man had a stop watch that allowed him to stop time completely, so that everyone became inanimate but himself until he clicked to start the watch again. It enabled him to get out of a little trouble, which he needed as he seemed to be a bit curmudgeonly, but just as he decided to take advantage of the gift and rob a bank, the watch fell, he stepped on it and it broke, leaving everyone inanimate forever but himself. Not much need for the money then, but not much happiness either. We need each other.

This truth is also part of the story of our nation. As part of the conference, one of the activities I chose to attend was a tour of the Capitol. We started this tour by watching a 10-15 minute video presentation with a little bit of history about the building. It was interesting for me to learn that during the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln made an optimistic decision about the war by asking that construction of the dome to top the capitol continue. The nation wouldn't be a nation if every state were completely independent. Ours is a history of interdependence.

And so the desire to marry and leave a bit of the independence aside is not so contradictory to the nation's history nor this celebration. Families with united parents, too, make up a big part of the success of this nation.

But independence is, of course, a good value to have. We rightly celebrate our nation's freedom from tyranny and injustice. And as people, too, we can follow this example of seeking and maintaining and being grateful for the independence we have, even as we seek to marry--such as by not settling for someone who will be a tyrant or injust, as well as by being grateful that inasmuch as marriage isn't always possible, we still have several freedoms, including the rights now for women to hold better and better positions and maintain our living,

Also the freedoms to worship as we want to. I found it altogether appropriate to find the statue of Brigham Young in the Capitol, one of Utah's two contributions, but also on the independence day holiday, since he did quite a bit toward the end of our religion's independence, as well as to the growth of the nation. He also had quite a bit to do with the educational growth and thereby independence, of many of the individuals attending the conference. You might even say he had quite a bit of influence, though indirectly, of bringing this group together.

So, moving on. The Capitol tour was only a minor part of the conference and of my 4th of July experience, though it was likely the most patriotic-related thing. After the tour, there was a barbecue at the stake center, with real barbecue--not bbq'd hamburgers and hot dogs, but barbecued pork and beef. Yum. I also watched some fireworks, but due to some of my own mishap, not with the group. Perhaps it was somewhat appropriate for me, given my independent personality, to be a little more independent as part of my independence day celebration. After the barbecue, I went home and did a few things, including reading something and falling asleep. Only, I slept a little longer than I intended, woke up a half an hour after I was supposed to meet people at Iwo Jima, in other words, probably 1 hour and 1/2 after I should have left the house to catch a metro. Well, I thought I could still drive in. It wasn't too dark, and it wasn't in DC. But even Arlington had roads blocked off and I just didn't feel like driving back to a metro stop and huffing it in to catch people at the last minute then getting back onto a crowded metro some short time later. Instead, I went home and watched the fireworks in my neighborhood. I didn't have that bad of a view here either, and I got to watch the neighborhood kids doing street fireworks, which is one thing that kind of makes the 4th feel more like my childhood memories, and which I haven't had the opportunity to experience for several years because of the laws of the places I've been. So, all in all, it was a good independence day. Hope it was for you too!

God's Sense of Humor

2009-06-22T12:49:00.000-07:00

About three weeks ago I started volunteering at the local library. The children's librarian was excited to have me as her special volunteer, and I was excited for the opportunity. The first day she gave me a full tour of everything. The library's main part, I was already pretty familiar with, but she took me in the back and showed me everyone's cubicle and told me about all of their functions. That was interesting, kind of. Didn't meet too many of them since it's evening hours, but eye opening still to get an idea of the inner functionings of a library.

Otherwise, my tasks have been fairly mundane, or it would seem. Every time I go I work a little on shelf reading the YA section. That means I look for misplaced books and put them where they go. I also verify that all the books are from Sherwood Hall rather than another branch. See, it sounds fairly mundane. But since I like YA and have heard of a number of these authors, it's interesting to see authors I haven't heard of, or to see books by authors I didn't know they'd written. So, it's kind of exciting for strange little me.

I've also done a few other things--preparing carts to be shelved by putting them in order--Dewey for nonfiction and alphabetical for fiction. Also fairly mundane, bu I get a little pleasure out of it, I guess. I've always been one for order. Some might look at my bedroom and disagree, but really I like order. I remember a friend in junior high called me Tidy Heidi because I straigtened things in a grocery store.

Anyway, so I'm contemplating getting a Master of Library Science degree, though I'm somewhat hesitant to go back to school, but working in a library might not be such a bad thing for me. So since I kind of need work now, I've been praying a lot for the best opportunities, and even said, "like maybe in a library" a few times recently.

Well, I haven't gotten any library jobs, but fortunately I have had some small opportunities for a little cash.. I created a profile for Wyzant tutoring quite awhile ago, and finally I've been getting close to tutoring some people. Yeah! It's kind of interesting because I'd supposed the school year would have a greater demand for such. But it turns out, I'm having more luck now that school is out. Not that I'm complaining.

I actually even got my first tutoring gig through Wyzant this last Saturday. Yeah! It was for a nice Korean girl, college-aged, who needed some help with some writing assignments. Since I'd worked with Koreans at FSI a few years ago while they were creating Korean Express and Out & About Seoul, I had some experience and looked forward to helping her. It went really well, too. She was a good learner and better in English than she gave herself credit for, though I could understand her frustrations.

We met in the Fairfax County Regional Library, which I'd never been to, but that was fine. It's quite the library! Anyway, as I was driving home, it occurred to me, I'd just had a job in a library. My prayers were answered. Very funny. Thank you Heavenly Father.

Mom and Dad Visit

2009-06-14T13:02:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my parents came out to visit me! I'd been looking forward to it for a very long time, and it was well worth the wait. They arrived on Thursday night then left the following Tuesday afternoon, so we had a few full days to fill. I had to work on Friday and on Monday, but they got themselves around on the Metro those days and took in a few museums and the memorials. Saturday and Sunday, though, I had all day with them.

On Friday afternoon, I picked them up from the King Street Metro and drove us up to the temple, a beautiful drive, and we did a session, which was pretty nice. When I graduated with my B.A. they came to Provo to celebrate and we did a temple session then, too. Curiously, though, both then and at this one, a hearing impaired person was in our session so we got to watch the sign language video. I wonder if that will happen again if I get another degree?
Anyway, they took a picture of me in front of the temple, too, but it's pretty funny looking, so this one will do.

Saturday, we went to the Udvar Hazy Air and Space Museum over by Dulles Airport. I hadn't been to that one yet, so that was a good opportunity for me, too. But it was undoubtedly most enjoyed by my dad. His dad was a pilot in WWII in the Canadian Air Force, and my dad himself had at one point wanted to be a pilot but his color blindness wouldn't allow for it. He's obviously studied a lot about the aviation field, nonetheless, because he had quite a bit to share about just about all of the airplanes in that place, and some that weren't. Mom's comment was approprite--he was in hog heaven! When I asked, he said he wouldn't mind being a tour guide, but he wouldn't want to live out here. Too bad!

Aside from the tour my dad gave us of the museum he'd never been to before, we also saw an IMAX movie about fighter planes. That was pretty interesting. Those people have some pretty rigorous training. A real eye opener. The whole tour of the place was kind of an eye opener. When we were coming out of the space air, my mom made the comment" "You know how sometimes they say, 'it isn't rocket science?' Well, this is." It was a funny comment, but it made me think a little more as I wandered around looking at the engines that otherwise didn't do much for me. To think about making those, coming up with all of the intricate parts and finally get them to work, all together is pretty amazing, even if they did have to do a thousand failed runs. You remember how I was talking about different smarts? Well, um, I think there's a lot more smarts than I had in mind going on in the making of these machines. In fact, I would have to say that there's so much smarts that it had to be inspired. Except the guy who was showing us the rocks that were asteroids that he claimed came from the Big Bang. That wasn't inspired. Saying they were millions of years old would have sufficed.

We had planned to go from Udvar Hazy out to the Arlington Cemetery, but we had a bit too much fun out there, so we came straight back to Alexandria, did a little shopping and came home to get ready for my graduation party. Yeah me! I don't think I took any pictures of it though. Dang. Carrie had put up some cute little graduation window stickers on the back door and the front closet mirror. Cute, Thanks Carrie! And she also made some chocolate-covered pretzels that were a big hit. My mom made some chili which was awesome, and then after a little relaxation, we had about 12 or so friends come over and we chatted for awhile and played a couple games. Good times it was.

Sunday, then, we did make it to Arlngton Cemetery. We had planned to do the monuments tour, but we couldn't find parking. That's why they did that on Monday instead of more museums. Oh well. I've actually been to both before--the Cemetery and the monuments, so it didn't make too much difference to me. I was glad to go to the Cemetery though, I'll confess. It just felt a little more Sabbath-like. The monuments would have been fine, probably. Still free, and historic stuff, but with so many people wandering around it felt too city-like. There were a lot of peeps at the Cemetery, too, but it still felt a little more reverent. Anyway, so we saw JFK's site and the unknown soldier's changing of the guard, and even this time to Arlington House, which I hadn't seen before. It was all right. Not spectacular, but I got to hear a little French boy there oohing and awing in French over the number of pebbles he was collecting. Yes, indeed, as a follow-up to my last post, children are children wherever they may be.

Monday after work I had intended to take my parents to the river front in Alexandria, but they were beat, and I was beat. The school I'd worked at that day had broken A/C, and as always, I'd been on my feet a lot. My parents had walked at least 4 miles hither and yon around DC, so we took the evening to relax and watch some movies.

After the movies, around 12:00 or so, I still didn't have a job for the next day, so I assumed I'd have the morning with my parents. Yet, for some reason, I got a call around 8:30 on Tuesday morning, and I found 4 job possibilities online for that. Dang! Well, I was a little stressed, distressed, and my dad pulled mom into the kitchen and they said they'd pay me to teach them that day. Aren't they the best? Well, I think so, but I'm a little partial. We went down to Mt. Vernon, hoping that I could at least show them the view if we didn't do a tour, but since I've been down there, they've built a big entry thing so that you can't even see anything unless you do a tour, so we just wandered around the bookshop for a bit, which was fun anyway. They had some fun children's books that teach a bit of American history that I found delightful and my parents bought me one: We, the Children--straight text from the preamble to the Constitution, but with pictures that told a modern childhood story. Very cute. Then we went to the Post Office and to Subway and that was about all we had time for.

As with any vacation, there's always so much more to it than the events that give it structure. I had some great conversations and learned about my parents and my family, too, things I'd never known before. And the feelings shared, of course, are the highlight of it all. I love my parents so much! How blessed I am to have them.

Substitute Teaching

2009-05-30T20:06:00.000-07:00

I haven't written much in awhile, and I do kind of miss it. It's not that I've been too busy. It never is, of course, though I can always hope. :) But I have the past couple weeks had a job that has kept me off the computers, and I'm actually quite grateful about that. It's a little rough to be on my feet as much as I am, but I'm pretty grateful for the opportunity to be subbing again, now in the Prince George's County Public schools. I say again because I did it about 10 years ago in Alpine School District, which is the northern half of Utah Valley, Utah--from Orem to Alpine.

I have to confess I expected some differences in this area, and I've met up with a little bit of that, but there are definitely similarities. Kids are cute and have a lot of the same antics from one side of the country to the next, though it seems they start a little younger with some of the antics over here. There are students who are really bright, really eager for approval, really eager for attention, really eager for doing the right thing, and those who don't care quite as much everywhere you go.

Aside from the stresses of handling different classrooms of kids every day and spending the first half of the day trying to get everyone's name down and the second half writing those names on a a paper or the blackboard for later discipline from their teacher, it's also a little stressful not to know from day to day if I have a job, as well as to know that this is only until the end of the school year, therefore for about three more weeks. But the Lord has provided me with work as I've needed it, well, for the most part. I've had times when I could have used a little more income, but I've learned important lessons from those times as well. In any case, I'm sure things will work out.

What does it mean to be Smart?

2009-05-03T12:45:00.000-07:00

This is my response to this article that I found through Wilson Quarterly:
http://www.wilsoncenter.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=wq.essay&essay_id=452772

I'm guilty of confessing that I sometimes think I'm smart, even this week. But reading this article and only the first sentence of the first comment at the bottom really made me wonder what people mean when they refer to smart people--particularly when they're surprised or perturbed that supposedly smart people can't figure something out that seems clear to them.

I suppose it got me thinking because I don't like insults. But also because the context made it somewhat clear why supposedly smart people couldn't figure something out--the smarts referred to were quite different. Science smarts vs. artistic smarts. Not a person on this earth knows everything, nor is wise about everything, nor understands everything. Particularly there is no one who has all of these wrapped up together.

In Church, we often look at the verses describing the body of the Church in Corinthians 12, as we talk about the different gifts of the Spirit, and the application is clear that we need each other because of our different talents. Because it's contexted to the Church, it's fairly easy to apply it to our callings, but it seems the lesson should extend beyond the body of the Church. We need scientific minds as we need artistic minds, as well as all other kinds as well. So when we write about our specialties, we should treat the others with respect and understanding rather than with contempt. Right-o?

I think this idea of "smarts" was also on my mind because of last week's Sunday School lesson on the law of consecration. One thing I really like about the law of consecration is that it equalizes everyone. Not just financially, but for value of their talents. I'm not surprised that the United Order failed, not only because of the imperfect people within it and their various levels of pride, but also because it was not entirely independent. Being dependent on an external society with an economic and social system that did not equalize all of the members, kept ideas imbedded in the members of the United Order's minds. Additionally, not having a large enough population nor area so as to account for every needed talent and resource, even had the people had perfect hearts, they could not have thrived. But if they had been independent and had sufficient resources and people, then such a system as would recognize the value of every member's abilities would certainly have thrived such as the one did in the Americas following the reign of Christ, as recorded in 4 Nephi where there were no poor among them.

Presently, however, there is not an economic system in place on the Earth that really treats every member of its governing society equally. In capitalism, with which I am most familiar, and which my society does tend to value, even though men are free to develop their own talents, the pay scale people receive based on the supposed value of their contribution is so unequal as to set up ideas in way too many minds that some talents and skills are more valuable than others.

This is in fact, probably the basis that got these commentors into the line of thinking that certain people were smart and yet not as smart as they should be. They had succeeded in their field, made good money, so they must be intelligent. Right? This is the line of thinking that led Stanley Fish, to whom the writer of the article is responding, to state that the humanities are a useless field because they do not produce valuable commodities as the sciences do. Commodities and progress toward ease of life equals intelligence. Right?

For these reasons, I really liked the author's, Wilfred McClay's, response, particularly her use of Huxley's Brave New World. Very appropriate.

If I would add anything, it would be to respond to the logical fallacy in Fish's thinking that if the humanities were of value then humanities professors or professionals would be the most humane people, and yet they are not. I was actually along this line of thinking myself a few weeks prior to reading this, particularly pondering some English professors who are not nearly as goodly-hearted as I would have hoped their literary studies would have led them to be. Nonetheless, there is error in this thinking.

We face this question often as members of my Church, actually, though on a non-parallel level, which I'll explain in a minute. Some would say that if the Church is the only true Church on the Earth than its members should be better than those of any other Church. But this is not true. And we would never say it was. There are many people outside of the Church, though we would warmly welcome them, as anyone, into the Church, who are better than many of the members.
The test of the Church's truth isn't in the "better"ness of the members than of those in other churches. The idea of such comparison is based on competitive thinking, which has connections to capitalistic thinking, but also tends to be an unfortunate human tendency.

Life is not a competition! We are not on Earth to compete against everyone and be better than everyone. And God does not and will not judge is in relation to other people. The point is to be better than we were.

If the humanities have value, or if parts of the humanities have value, it is because they make the people who ponder them better than they would be without having studied them. If the Church is true, then the people who apply the principles are better than they would be.

Of course, it seems such tests are fairly unproductive. Many churches make people better than they would be, so how can we know if the Church is the only true one? Perhaps the way to judge this isn't through the people but from God. Although the people will definitely help, God will be the one to tell you.

Likewise, I would add, that if the humanities are of value, then one should ask God. He does know all, unlike any human, and can tell you what is of value and what is not.

However, as to the question about the humanities vs. the sciences, the rationale isn't on a parallel to comparing churches to churches. Churches to churches may be apples to apples, but humanities to sciences is apples to oranges. Both the sciences and the humanities can make people better than they would be without them, and yet we can and should have them both.

So how can we know if the humanities are valuable? While I will not interrupt your prayers about the subject, I will add that the Lord usually tells us to study things out in our minds before we ask, so I'll give you a little to think about--the body.

14 For the body is not one member, but many.

15 If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?

16 And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?

17 If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?

18 But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.

19 And if they were all one member, where were the body?

20 But now are they many members, yet but one body.

21 And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the ^ahead to the feet, I have no need of you.

22 Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be ^amore feeble, are necessary:

23 And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.

24 For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:

25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same ^acare one for another.

26 And whether one member ^asuffer, all the members ^bsuffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

It would seem to me that everyone needs both the sciences and the humanities.

Repetition

2009-04-26T18:21:00.001-07:00

Two weeks ago I taught primary for the first time in probably 10 years--so probably before the 9-10 year olds I was teaching were born. But it was fun. I don't know if I had enough material for the time, or if I didn't prepare well enough, but it turned out okay. They were pretty good kids.

The lesson was interesting--included some stories I didn't remember or may not have heard before. It was about the Saints moving to Ohio because of the prayers of Brother Whitney. This story was familiar--when Joseph arrived in Kirtland, he went into Brother Newel Whitney's story and said to him: "Newel K. Whitney! Thou art the man! . . . I am Joseph the Prophet. . . . You've prayed me here; now what do you want of me?"

So why did the Lord choose to answer Bro. Whitney's prayers by bringing the prophet to him? Well, as the lesson went on, it was because the saints in Ohio, mostly recent converts from missionary efforts, needed some training in the running and operations of the Church, so they needed the prophet to teach them. One of the object lessons that I chose to use for this was to bring some yarn and needles to the class, hand it to a child and tell them to knit something for me. So I handed it to the poor 9-year-old boy and told him to knit me a scarf. He looked at the yarn and needles a little dumbstruck, as expected. So I took it back. Yes, even though you know that yarn and needles can knit a scarf, doesn't mean you know how to do it. So the Saints, though converted, didn't necessarily know how to make everything work.

King of cool story, and neat object lesson. The boys weren't actually too interested in learning to knit, but in the spare time we had after the lesson materials were covered, I showed the four girls how to knit, and they generally really enjoyed it.

Then, last week, I taught Relief Society, as it was my Sunday to do so. This lesson was about a different migration of the Saints, from Missouri to Illinois, because of persecution. The title of it was "Responding to Persecution with Faith and Courage." The last lesson I taught in R.S., the month previous was, "Valiant in the Cause of Christ" and the lesson the previous week, when I was in primary, had been, ""God Shall Be with You Forever and Ever": The Prophet in Liberty Jail." Basically, slightly different approaches, but all three lessons about handling persecution.

I do appreciate lessons about that. It's always helpful to remember, and it did come at an interesting time in my life, as well. I also think, in general, I have some fears about missionary work because of some slight persecution I've felt when trying before--nothing as serious as the early saints in this dispensation experienced, but some negativity and verbal abuse anyway. So, being reminded that it's not my fault--that I'm not doing something wrong and even will be blessed for my righteous efforts to promote the truth, does help give me faith and courage and help me to be valiant.

Still, although it's a good topic, I was still struggling with how to make this lesson unique from the previous two. Sure, the historical pieces were different and the quotes were different, but I wasn't sure how to extract the significant points from the quotes in such a way as to make the lesson feel different. And particulary when it came to class participation, I was having a hard time coming up with questions for discussion that would yield fresh comments from those already shared last month.

Well, I gave the lesson, and we had some participation, and some of it was indeed the same stories from class members that they shared last month. Fortunately, they didn't seem to mind. And there were some new ones too, which was nice.

So moving on. Yesterday was a stake activity, a picnic with some outdoor games, mostly for kids, though there was a "Pace N Race"--walking race, for everyone. I didn't do that, mostly hung out with the other families from my ward who came. One of those families was a family that I'd babysat for back in December, and from which one of their little girls had been in my primary class. She had seemed particularly interested in learning to knit because she was into other yarn crafts. So I asked if she'd done any more knitting. She said she'd tried to do it again, but it was hard to remember everything so it came apart. That was actually really understandable because, since there were four girls and not a lot of time, none of them got a lot of one-on-one time to engrain the lessons, and I explained that to her, understanding.

While I was in the temple later yesterday afternoon, watching the same video I've seen hundreds of times, since I've been endowed since 1995 and, with the exception of my mission, been to the temple pretty much monthly at least since then. Of course, sometimes I don't do an endowment when I go, but anyway--I've still seen it a lot. Other people have seen it more, however, and yet for them as for me (most of the time), I still feel the Spirit and am glad to do it again and again. I even learn new things a lot of the time. But as I was sitting there yesterday, remembering what I'd told my little would-be-knitter and the lesson that prompted my teaching her to knit in the first place, and my frustration about teaching a similar lesson in R.S., things started to come together. We're preparing to be gods. We know it can be done because God has told us so, but we don't know how to do it, so we need lessons, and yes, we need the same lesson over and over, hundreds of times, particularly with a bit of one-on-one time. And sometimes, it's even better if those lessons are close together because they sink in a little better that way. So, yes, I'm glad I had a little of that one-on-one time as I feel when preparing a lesson, as well as some group time, with the class.

Thesis Complete!

2009-04-21T10:59:00.000-07:00

Let's see, after how many years? It's kind of an interesting story, so I'll tell it to you, even if I have before. I mean, some of it is interesting, and some might bore you, but I'll write it anyway for history's sake:

Having had wonderful experiences at Monticello apartments just off BYU campus, during my undergraduate years, I had some "meeting scenarios" in my head--some romantic, some more humorous and some even awkward, I guess, for many years--probably since I lived there. Some of these were scenarios that I hoped would work for me, to be "my story." Some were real, some imaginary and would make good stories. But obviously, none of the real ones ever amounted to anything, they just stuck in my head as beginnings only.

Well, driving home from work one fall evening in 2005, after my first summer at Hollins, I was thinking about what I could write about, knowing that I needed to start whetting my whistle to creative writing again, I had an internal conversation that went something like this: "No! I will not write a romance novel. I have not had any success in romance. I don't think I have enough experience to capture romance successfully." I think things like that were repeated to myself several times, for effect. But as I pulled up in front of my house, I finally told myself, "Maybe I'm having these thoughts because the Spirit is prompting me. I don't know, but fine, I'll try writing a romance novel." So I wrote a few pages. Then stopped.

Those few pages sat in my computer untouched after that night --until the following summer. In my first creative writing class at Hollins, the professor, Hillary Homzie, assigned us to bring 10 pages to class every week. Well, I was going to write picture books, so I brought a few attempts of that type. But it just wasn't flowing like I'd hoped. So on the third or fourth week, I think, of the 6 weeks, I was scouring my computer for ideas and things I could work on and happened upon those few pages. What the heck, I told myself, what can it hurt? I flushed those few out into 10 pages, thinking that would be that, and I'd try something else for the rest of the time.

Well, lo and behold, my peers and my professor actually liked it. I mean, it needed a lot of work. I'm not sure anything remains of those first few pages, actually--which I think I have written about before. But anyway, the concept was interesting to them--even though none of them were members of the Church and this was a story clearly about members in the height and depth of our own culture.

So I wrote ten more for the next week, and ten more for the following week. And before I knew it, I had motivated myself to keep writing during the normal year, away from Hollins, so that by the time I returned the following summer, I had over 100 pages of working text. I'm not remembering well all of the sequences of events, but it had some work in the motivation of my choosing to switch from the MA to the MFA, although I didn't know for sure that this would be my thesis. I wasn't sure it was "young" enough for children's literature, nor that I could successfully finish it.

Well, I had the same professor again for my creative writing seminar that summer, and this time, because it was a more advanced class, we had to write 20 pages per week. I was kind of set, with those 100 pages. Actually, of course, what I'd written required reworking, and although we didn't bring in rewrites through the term, the suggestions for changes based on class discussions did translate into changes into the following pages as well as the pages discussed. And for six weeks, I needed also the last 20 pages, which might have come in the middle. In short, I made progress.

At the same time, however, I had an idea for a much younger book, about a duck with some magic, and a little boy. It flowed out pretty well and I submitted it piece by piece for my other class that term. One of my fellow students was in both classes and she much preferred Dave the Duck. I liked it too. But I also knew it would be shorter, so I'd have to come up with additional stories to get it to thesis length. But it was definitely under the rubric of "children's" literature. So, I talked to Hillary about it, showing her that manuscript, and her opinion was very firm that my BYU story was the better fit for the thesis. Wow. So there you have it! I registered it with her as my advisor shortly after that.

Then continued working at it for the next several months and finally mailed a complete ms to her in the late winter/early spring of 08. She had it back to me with lots of revision suggestions just in time for me to work on it at Hollins last summer, then I mailed it back to her again by September, a deadline she'd given me, which was actually really good for me, to push me. She had a few more suggestions, but otherwise said she trusted me to make the changes and said it was good to go!

And that was the easy part. Well, not entirely. But to some extent. It was definitely not over though.

When I started at Hollins, students in their last term had to take a comprehensive exam, so you had to buy all of these books in case there might be questions involving them, covering the major critical approaches and significant books in the history of children's literature. So I had bought many of them, but then last year they got rid of the comps and replaced it with an essay. Those who had been in the program for a couple years, like myself, were given the option of still doing the comps. But having time to look over what I write and with it only being 10-15 pages, I thought it not a huge deal to write a paper comparing my book to others in the field.

Still, it was a little tricky, particularly since I was not all that familiar with other LDS works. I mean, I knew some, and I regretted knowing more than those that I liked. But it was a good opportunity for me to familiarize myself with the genre, so over the past year I bought a few books (I think I read up to 10? t's still not a huge genre--somewhere around there) and eventually pumped out a first draft and emailed it to my second reader by November 30.

I didn't get it back until February, which was a little disheartening, and discouraging, particularly since the comments weren't making a whole lot of sense to me. I discussed them a bit with the reader and eventually found that an entirely LDS approach would probably work better than what I had done, so almost completely re-wrote and submitted near the end of March.

Well, he liked this version much better, though he still had a few reservations, but he finally said if my director accepted it, he'd be fine. Well, Hillary said it was fine with her, so by mid-April, just a month before "graduation" I'm officially good to go! What a relief.

April Birthdays

2009-04-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

I have been very negligent about acknowledging my siblings with April birthdays. David's was the 5th and Susie Q (no longer Q, actually) had hers the 16th.

I'll start with David, since he's older and his birthday was first. David is my one and only big brother. At only a few years older than me, when we were growing up, we had an interesting love-hate relationship. Sometimes I idolized him, and sometimes I fought with him. Maybe I fought with him because he didn't (and who could?) live up to my idol standards. But time and prayers have worn away the scars and now I think he's a great man. Some of my favorite memories with David include some nice gifts he made for me at Christmas exchanges. One was a little wagon that I kept on my dresser until it fell into complete direpair, and the other was a doll's bed for a baby doll I coveted and got for Christmas maybe the same year, maybe the year before. I still have that bed, though it might be at my parents' house. Another fond memory would be driving to Greeley for some youth leadership meeting in his dinged up, old yellow truck. Greeley being about 20-30 miles away, across mostly bare open highway at that time (though there's been a lot built there since that time), we probably had the road pretty much to ourselves so he showed off for me by taking the truck faster than the speedometer could record. Probably not the best thing to be doing on our way to a Church thing, but I enjoyed laughing with him.

Now, he's a mature father of two baby girls and fathering two of his wife's children--all of them adorable. He loves hunting and fishing and pampering his dog, and weren't we surprised when he first told us about Sariah, shortly after they met, that she loves hunting too! It was a match made in heaven.

Now for Susie Q. She's kind of my middle child. I mean, not really, but since I'm third and she's 6th, she's in the middle of the five children younger than me. While I was growing up, she was just a kid, so I had fun babysitting her and passing on my hand-me-downs to her. But before too long, she seemed to catch up to me and we even worked at the same place for awhile, her just after high school, and me just after college. She was actually the one who got me the job, even, at Kids' Harbor. After that, she moved to Provo to go to college and a year or so after that, I returned to Provo, too, for a graduate program that I didn't finish, so we were adults there and hung out sometimes. We had some good memories there, making sock monkeys Mom gave us kits for so we could do something together, and she was good about remembering the holidays and giving me cute gifts.

After awhile there together, I moved out East, but she stayed there and got to know Mike, got married and now they're the proud parents of three cute little girls with a fourth on the way. But not only do they have children to tend, they're also now helping Mike's parents with some sheep farming! I love hearing about their adventures with the sheep and little girls on the farm on our myfamily site.

So, although I'm a little bit late, I hope you both had wonderful birthdays!
(Pictures coming soon)

Spring Pics

2009-04-02T17:14:00.000-07:00

I finally used my camera for the purposes for which I had it kept in my car....
Tuesday and Wednesday I took walks around Old Town Alexandria during my lunch hour and was able to take some spring pics. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday to the Relief Society!

2009-03-29T18:18:00.000-07:00

So I'm a little off as far as the date goes, but it's pretty good of me to recognize this birthday all together on here, I think, especially since it's not a sibling. But the truth be known, I happened to have my camera in my car because it's spring and I've been contemplating spring shots. So when I saw it on my seat on my way out of the car to this birthday celebration, I thought that sounded like a good idea to bring it. The pictures didn't turn out terrifically, but at least it made me think to post them here.

So, a little history. The Relief Society's birthday date, which we were reminded of in a trivia game we played, is March 17, 1842. It was organized because the men working on the Nauvoo temple needed shirts to wear for their work, so the women organized themselves and got Joseph Smith, Jr., the prophet, to thinking and praying on the subject, and from that came an organization with far broader purposes than its origination imagined. Currently, it's the largest women's organization in the world, and it's been around for quite awhile too. Every female member of the Church who is 18 years or older, or who is married, if younger, is a member. If a younger woman has a child, she is invited to join, but she does not have to.

The motto of the Relief Society is "Charity Never Faileth," taken from the Book of Mormon, the Book of Moroni. As the words indicate, the purpose of the Relief Society is to bless lives. The way this is done is manifold. The party indicated in the pictures above is from an Enrichment night. Every quarter (four times a year), each ward unit's Relief Society has an Enrichment night and in March, it is to be in celebration of the R.S. birthday. Enrichment activities are typically a night for women to get away from the daily grind and socialize with each other. Often, they involve dinner, a craft, and a little lesson. Sometimes they might involve a broader service project. Sometimes, particularly around Christmas time, it's predominantly crafts. (These are often, too, in the morning, rather, so the meal is breakfast.) In addition to these quarterly activities, there are also "groups" or "clubs" of special interests for the sisters to attend. Some common ones are book clubs, play group for mothers to bring their kids together, excursion groups, dinner groups. All women are invited to all of these, but usually because they're focused on special interests, attendance is pretty small--it's just nice to get together with a few women, get to know them better, learn more, be enriched, you know.

Another thing the Relief Society does is Visiting Teaching. Every woman is assigned a visiting teacher from her ward unit. Ideally, she has at least two, and sometimes even three--but at least one. Most women are visiting teachers, too, though if someone doesn't want to be one, they don't have to. As a visiting teacher, a woman has at least one sister, typically around 3, but depending on the size of the ward or branch, she may have more sisters, whom she is assigned to visit and teach a lesson. (The general presidency and committee in Salt Lake put the lessons together in each month's Ensign, the Church magazine.) If she's not able to visit, she can also write a letter or call the sister(s) just to see how she's doing and kind of be a friend. It's a neat program and blesses a lot of people when it works well.

The Relief Society also has a Compassionate Service committee in each unit, a group that helps provide meals, most commonly, to new mothers and others with health needs. They are often also in charge of making sure each sister's birthday is recognized. Other things might fall under this category depending on the imaginations and inspirations of the particular members.

Each ward/branch unit also meets every Sunday and has a lesson and sings together.

So you're wondering, if everything is done at the ward/branch level, how is it the largest organization? Isn't it more like thousands of small organizations? Well, no. It really is organized and run from Church headquarters. The general presidency speaks to the entire Relief Society once a year, a week before the general conference of the Church in October. They also prepare training materials and give training sessions for the unit leaders. Then, in addition to the general level, there is also the stake level--the umbrella over a group of wards/branches, between 5 and 12. Prior to the general Relief Society session at the end of September, the stake leaders usually organize a dinner and activity and a service project. Also, they visit each ward once or twice a year, as well as the leaders meet with the ward level leaders on a semi-regular basis, for trickle down training as well as for area-specific counsel.

Anyway, most of my readers are probably familiar with all of that and might not have read this far, but I think a few people who aren't members of the Church might visit, so what the heck. In any case, it's a great organization, and I'm glad to be a part of it. Happy Birthday Relief Society!

Gratitude for digitization and search engines

2009-03-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

When I first was hearing about Google's big scheme to digitize every book ever written, I was on the publisher's side--not in favor. Working in a job that required me to understand copyright laws to a certain extent, it seemed their goal was clearly in breach.

On the other side of the coin, though, I can't say that I would be entirely opposed to having every book available digitally. I don't think Google should take it upon themselves to do this without publishers' permission. Nor do I think they should have a monopoly. And this is not because I want to read whatever books I can for free, or have easy access to hack into them. I don't even want to read books digitally. I'd much rather read a book away from my computer.

However, there are great advantages to digital versions. For one, I've long wondered why there are never commercials on television for books. It seems such a shame, doesn't it? We get ads for all kinds of nonsense, but not for this. As I was contemplating this last night while watching a TV movie, it occurred to me that ads for movies include attention-grabbing snippets from the movie. This might be a little difficult to do with books. Sure, you could create mini visual scenes from the book, but the joy in the book for many people is the ability to imagine those things without having the media create the image for you. So it would seem more beneficial to advertise with readable snippets. How could this be done? Well, perhaps not so easily on television, but with a few digitized pages available on internet ads, it could be done.

Another reason I would love to have digitized books would be when it comes to writing a paper in which I have to quote books. I must say I would love to have searchable copies of all books available. The search engine is a fabulous invention.

Today, I am working on my thesis essay and have read a few of the books I'm using at least twice and flipped through trying to find the place where something happened on several occasions. I did this kind of thing quite a bit as an undergraduate, but not quite to the extent I have to now, I think--I mean for the same books, time after time. It does get kind of tiresome.

So today I am expressing my gratitude for Amazon because they have acquired rights to copy many books, including at least one that I have to use (found a second after the original post. Yea!). I searched Amazon for the book, then searched the book for some significant key words, and then opened my paper copy and read until I found what I needed. Ta da!

So, maybe now I'm a little torn about the Google thing. There are a number of books I'd like to quote from that aren't Amazon searchable. Could the publishers maybe possibly hurry up with digitizing everything?

Professionally Speaking

2009-03-08T20:11:00.000-07:00

For the past five weeks I've been temping at a medical facility, doctor's office type of thing--in the medical records department. It's customer service, but not entirely on the telephone, so a little better than some jobs I've had. My first day, I confess, I was really irritated with the situation having been burned from the last job I had, but it hasn't turned out to be too terrible.

I even had some interesting things to think about the last few days I was working there. See, one of the doctors in the Gastro-Intestinal department had dumped a large pile of old paperwork that needed to be prepared for scanning, which meant removing staples and taping xrays down against paper, and assuring the patients' id numbers were there as well as his signature. That part wasn't terribly interesting. I didn't particularly care to look at all of the xrays much either. Seeing people's innerds doesn't strongly appeal to me. Thinking that someone else found that fascinating, however, was interesting.

What intrigued and got me to thinking that this doctor really enjoyed what he did was seeing that not only did he have xrays, but he also drew little diagrams for his patients of the organs in a way people are a little more accustomed to seeing them, like in a health book. Of course, like his patients, I've seen the organ lay out a few times before, so it's not that that intrigued me, but that he drew these diagrams over and over. If it had bored him, he might have just found some picture from a health book to point things out to his patients.

So I got to wondering, what kind of a person thinks to himself as a child, "Oh boy, I can't wait to study more about people's bowels. Making sure people can poop less painfully is the most important thing I can see myself doing with my life." Maybe a small child, but after a certain point, some people might wonder if the child was stuck in the anal stage of growth a little bit too long. Yet obviously, seeing that he's a successful gastro-intestinal doctor now, obviously he wasn't. And many, many people are grateful he has a fascination with intestines.

Of course, maybe he wasn't like that as a child. Perhaps the specific interest didn't come until he was in medical school, or at some other point. Who knows. But still, to think that at some point, he chose that specific field. But then it extends beyond that. To think that so many women and men like him are needed around the country and around the world. And not only these gastro-intestinal people, but so many other specific fields of interest. The lungs, the feet, the liver, etc. Things that aren't as high profile as the heart or the brain, yet so very important. Isn't the diversity of interests in the world a testimony of God in itself?

I remember a cute Sesame Street sketch from when I was a kid where the monsters were going to have a potluck picnic, but they didn't assign anyone what they would bring, and so everyone brought potato salad. I'm sure it followed with two or three more trip-ups, as comedy sketches go, but I remember it was funny, and a good lesson about organization, communication and cooperation. Sometimes that is needed. So when it works out without everyone convening to decide who's going to do what, you kind of have to think, Someone else's hand must be in this.

What Might Have Been

2009-03-08T16:06:00.000-07:00

With recent old friend findings on Facebook (ooh, like that alliteration!), as mentioned recently below, my mind has reflected to ye old college days wondering what would have happened if... I'd married so and so, if I'd realized so and so was more interested earlier, I had lived in this apartment instead of that one, I'd moved out of the complex all together where I lived most of my college years...in short, if I had gotten married while I was in college.

The results of this line of thinking can be interesting to ponder. They can lead to gratitude for things one has been able to do instead. But since I never had much ambition about getting a fancy job or great travels, etc. (still haven't even travelled all that much)--I instead tend toward the line of thinking--maybe I wouldn't have this huge debt I have now, or maybe I'd have my own kids, maybe I'd have someone to cuddle with... in short, maybe my life wouldn't be so hard.

But, as a friend once told me, (not directly to me--it was a testimony, but I felt it was to me) life is actually fair. He was quoting some general authority, dont' remember the specifics, except that it made sense. If life weren't fair then God would not be just and merciful and loving and perfect, to make life easier on some than on others. Knowing of the disasterous circumstances some people live in, the shortness of some lives compared to some, it's an odd thing to consider. But we really don't know all of the facts about these lives, particularly their pre-mortal and post mortal lives or what gifts and blessings the Lord has given them to help them endure. Certainly people don't "deserve" hard lives, but at the same time, I think they will be blessed above what we are able to understand. There's another quote about God's filling our voids with blessings equal or greater to the size of the pain. Sorry, no specifics again.

But I do have one specific. I had actually been on the above line of thinking yesterday or the day before when this memory came into my head to help alleviate the downward spiral. In 1993, I was hit by a minivan while crossing the street on my way to work. I did suffer some, broke my first bone of record--the orbital bone in my right eye. I might have broken a toe or two before, but never had it verified because the doctor wouldn't have been able to do anything about it.

Anyway, I had felt particularly nervous about going to work that day, with no pinpointable reason, but I do remember feeling anxious about it, and feeling like I should get a ride or something. It was raining, but I had walked to work in the rain before. I even asked my roommate for a ride, knowing she didn't like to be the apartment cab company, and she, of course, said no. I think she had a good excuse, but I don't remember.

I even thought about not going. I don't remember the specifics of that time period, but I might have just been obligated to certain number of hours per week, rather than a daily schedule, but it was easier to go x number of hours per day. Anyway, I went anyway. And the rest is history.

After it happened, my mind had a tendency into the what might have been thinking, particularly given some comments one or two people made. Most people were sympathetic and compassionate, but there were a few who didn't understand some things, accusing me of not looking where I was going, and such like.

A new guy had moved into the ward, a nice guy, a cute guy, and I'd even talked to him a few times, and some friends had decided to do this girls-ask-guys thing, so I'd even gotten up the courage and asked him, which is really, really rare for me. Anyway, so with my little accident, that was, of course, cancelled. And before I was really well enough, he had found a girlfriend. So, how could I not help but wonder what might have happened if I hadn't left for work that day?

Well, fortunately for me, one of my professors, my grammar professor of all people, had encouraged us to read D&C 93. And these are the verses that stood out, 24 and 25: "And ^atruth is ^bknowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come; And whatsoever is ^amore or less than this is the spirit of that wicked one who was a ^bliar from the beginning."

Where does "what might have been?" fall into this definition of truth? It isn't what is, what was or what is to come, so it must be more or less than that, and therefore a lie. Isn't that interesting?

I have brought this up to some people before and there is some argument that there are scriptures that talk about how life would have been better if so and so hadn't sinned. And that is truth. It is also true that President Monson likes to remind us of the whole picture of our lives, saying to learn from the past, live in the present and prepare for the future. So if we can learn from our sins, that life would be better if we didn't, then we can progress. But when no sin is involved, and even to a certain extent when it is, doesn't it make sense that we not dwell on what might have been but rather take those lessons and live in the present and prepare for the future? After all, we can't change the past, so it's a fruitless endeavor, and Satan is the master of fruitlessness.

Another Story about Conversation

2009-03-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

I think I'm doing a little trip on Memory Lane because of the recent finding of many of my college friends. But I have another story about conversation that's actually kind of funny and more critical of myself.

After my mission, so five years after the last story, I was still interested in conversation, not too surprisingly. But this time I did get someone to play along with me. A few people, actually. I had this funny idea, maybe it was a group effort with my roommate--she played along in any case and helped come up with the list--to see if we could get some people to answer some rather obscure questions in the course of a conversation. I don't remember all the rules, but it seemed like you got more points for more of the questions you got out. Mostly it was just for curiosity sake and not competition since we were usually together for the conversations.

Most of the people we got into these conversations with--yes I say "people," in a non-gender specific way, but the truth is they were all men--recognized it was a little odd but played a long for a little while. But Dale Caswell, my good buddy, let us play through to the end. He never even commented on how odd it was. What a good sport he was! He liked to talk and we liked to listen to his Connecticut accent anyway. Fun times!

So, if you want to play this game, I dare you! Think of a list of like 10 questions and have some fun. Or include something like this with characters in your book--it's a very young adult kind of thing to do.

Our questions I don't think I have any more, but they were something like this:

1. What's your middle name
2. Where was your third missionary companion from?
3. What was the name of your fifth grade teacher?
4. What did you do last Valentine's Day?

My mind is really blank, but we had about 10 or more questions. Have fun!

Conversation

2009-02-28T20:54:00.000-07:00

When I came back from a family vacation the summer after my freshman year, (I was still living in the same complex, Monticello in Provo) my roommate from the school year who had moved to a different apartment for the summer, told me she'd met someone she wanted to set me up with. She didn't say what it was about him that made her think of me, but I was intrigued and interested to get to know him when I did eventually meet him. She hadn't gotten around to setting us up, and I'm not sure I was too keen on being set up with someone who lived in my ward since it seemed I would more likely naturally meet him.

Anyway, so I did eventually meet him, playing games over at someone else's apartment--#1 in White Brick, I think. At first, he seemed pretty nice, and kind of cute. I thought I might not mind going out with him. Then, as we were talking, in a split-off conversation from the bigger group, but still with three or four people, he asked me what my game was. (I thought was kind of an odd question, I'll confess.) I told him conversation was my game. I think he thought that was pretty weird, and I can understand that. It does seem rather a weird thing to say, even to a weird question.

But it actually was true. I had a fascination with conversation. I payed attention to how people conversed and judged how well I liked a guy based on how he could talk to me, looking for certain things. I'm not sure what incited my interest--perhaps that too many people were telling me I was too quiet, and so I was trying to shift the blame, or find out why I was quiet, or figure out if they were really any better than me for not being quiet.

Well, to cut that story short, I'll just say this--our conversation was not successful. Within a few shifts of topic, it came out that he'd like to have 20 kids. I told him good luck finding a wife.

I don't know if he ever achieved it. I saw him a few years later at a concert, with a girl. She might have been his wife, or maybe just a girlfriend. In any case, he appeared to be making some progress toward his goal at that time. I was on a date that night, too, I think, but he was not my boyfriend. I think I didn't even like my date very much, but I don't remember who it was. In any case, I haven't yet found my perfect conversationalist. But this weekend/week (for reasons I'll refrain from discussing), I've been wondering how much progress I've actually made with the subject in general. Am I a better conversationalist than I was then? Have I improved in my ability to detect a good conversationalist or refined my demands?

See, both things are kind of hard to have as do or die goals--I mean, I don't know how long it took him to get married, or how old his wife was, nor how fertile or able to adopt they were, or if he's actually married! I have heard of families of 22 or more, but it is pretty rare and really hard to come by. That was obvious to me then. But I guess I wasn't quite as convinced at the young age of 19 of the difficulty of my own goal--finding a good conversationalist...

...Particularly as my ideas about what makes a good conversationalist were still in a lot of flux at that point. I don't think I expected perfection at that game. I was savvy enough to know that like any nebulous attribute, conversation is very near impossible to perfect in this lifetime. But it seems like there are enough people who have good friends, get married and seem to find that right balance of conversation between them that it wouldn't be absolutely impossible. But I'm also thinking that a lot of people find good matches for them because they don't care quite as much about conversational abilities. I mean, I've met a good number of people who have either been married, are married, or have had long term relationships and yet they have serious lackings in what seem to me as normal conversational abilities.

That probably sounds kind of critical, and it probably is, but I guess what I really want to know is two things--why is it hard to find someone with good conversational abilities and what's the best way to handle it when you're stuck talking to or listening to someone who has a lot of difficulty with basic conversation, such as someone who talks your ear off or who's never interested in anything you have to say, or who cuts down everything you have to say. What do you do? I want to be a charitable person, but I'm really struggling here.

Leven Thumps, book review

2009-02-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo by Obert Skye

My review

rating: 2 of 5 stars
I couldn't finish it. It was really quite painful to get as far as I did. Is there a criticism for weight judgments? I mean, like feminist criticism and cultural criticisms--fields of study. In any case, almost all of the villains or even slightly bad guys were noted as being fat or large or worse, and all of the good guys were thin or had no mention of their weight proportions. One of the good guys was even a toothpick. Seriously, a literal toothpick. Perhaps it was all subconscious and not intended to offend people with weight struggles, but it was really too much. I also don't really appreciate repetitive physical punishments even to bad guys, particularly the kind where the audience is supposed to find the punishments funny. It just doesn't strike me as very charitable. Yes, some people need to have justice dealt to them, but it isn't funny.

View all my reviews.

Blink, book review

2009-02-25T20:37:00.000-07:00

Blink by Malcolm Gladwell

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
This was a little different from my typical read--an adult book, slightly different, though I still read a fair amount of those, but also a nonfiction, essay-type and not religious. My friend Valerie suggested it, and I actually was really pulled in by it. Those who know me know I don't really care for profanity at all, and there were places with a tasteless dose, so I stopped reading it for awhile, but eventually picked it up again, and overall, I think it was worth the read. Each chapter is pretty well organized, drawing back on a story he introduces at the beginning of the respective chapter to make some point. And also, drawing upon stories and points from previous chapters to build up to a conclusion. However, the concluding chapter itself was rather sparse and not as well connected as I'd expected, leaving me a little less certain about his ultimate intent. Still, it was pretty interesting. It reiterated some of my beliefs and promoted positive ideas that I haven't given as full credence to as I ought, about surrounding yourself with uplifting and positive ideas about all people because the daily, minute influences do contribute to general impressions that impact for the better or worse snap judgments that we can't avoid making on a regular if not daily basis.

View all my reviews.

First Five

2009-02-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

I responded to my old roommate Erin's blog, so I am now in the game. Here are the rules:

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me!

My choice of something for you. There are some limits and restrictions, which Erin tweaked for her needs and style, but her rules look good to me, so here they are

1. It will be sometime this year. Don't rush me:)

2. I don't know yet what it will be - it might not even be tangible. Maybe food or a massage or a bookmark or babysitting or a song or a movie... OOH, possibly a visit, depending on who or where you are.

3. Most importantly, you must offer the same deal on your blog - the first 5 people to comment on your blog (or if you do not have a blog, facebook) get something made by YOU! The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win something deLIGHTful by me.

The Real Valentine's Day

2009-02-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

Just so you don't think I'm completely anti-Valentine's--the day itself wasn't too bad. We had a couple friends over and did some fondue-dipping, then watched some clips from a few romantic movies--Snow White's "Some Day My Prince Will Come" and the Sound of Music's "Sixteen." Plus a couple non-musical recent bits. Then after the friends left, we watched "Hitch" which actually did end in a wedding.

It was nice to have friends over. But I have to confess that it was interesting to watch the Sound of Music bit as well as Hitch in my critical frame of mind. (Not that I'm ever not in my critical frame of mind, but um, I guess now that it's out there.) Anyway, it was eye opening to see that in the Sixteen scene, the character was really being coy and didn't possibly believe the things she was sixteen. I think that's a very important part of the song, because otherwise the words are very subjugating of women--we all need someone at least a year older because he's wiser and can tell us what to do. It's also interesting to consider that song in context of the entire movie (which is one of my favorites!) because in the end, she was telling him what to do--leave the German army--and that is really what he should have done.

As for Hitch, well, that movie could have stood a few cuts--like the opening bit where you know Hitch has successfully hooked two people up because they wind up in bed, and then the little F bomb, and finally the date on Sunday morning, rather than Saturday morning. But otherwise, I was glad neither of the man couples had any insinuations, their conversations were about normal things--like siblings and family, and it ended in a wedding, allbeit for the secondary couple rather than the primary. But it's positive nonetheless.

It's ironic, I suppose, that I'm pro wedding ending since my novel doesn't end in a wedding. Just a first kiss, but I do have my reasons for that. But I'll just let you read it and surmise your own opinions about it. Who knows, I might even be wrong.

Happy Valentine's?

2009-02-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

You're noticing, perhaps, if you're not in a reader that is, that I'm skipping the pink/red background and moving right into spring. It's not technically spring yet, but we have had some really nice weather. I hope it continues, but it's always hard to say. I do like snow, though. I have to confess that. But we had some snow last week and now I'm ready for spring because I don't particularly like the cold.

But anyway, as the title suggests, maybe I'll write something about Valentine's anyway. It's tomorrow, after all, and it's been on my mind for about a week or so. Several stores tried to put it in my mind long before that, but I haven't done a lot of shopping the past few months, fortunately, so those attempts were not very successful. The television, however, had better aim.

I even caved in and actually watched one of the Valentine's movies some station was using in their Valentine's week long line-up--You've Got Mail. I don't know why. I guess I figured it's Valentine's week after all, and since I don't have someone to share it with, I can celebrate it in some way, but watching a related movie? Really warped thinking, I know. But my mind does work that way sometimes--Halloween is another holiday like that. I'm too big for trick-or-treating, so I'll just watch a holiday-related movie. Yeah. hm.

The weirder thing about it is that I don't even like You've Got Mail. And watching it again after so many years confirmed to me in a few more ways why I don't like it--and shouldn't like it. Like too many romantic comedies, it's just another example of envelope pushing. I'm reminded of the chocolate cake and red story in Ardeth G. Kapp's I Walk By Faith book that my leaders read to me when I was a youth. I have the book now, thanks to my Aunt Leah who got it for me for Christmas a couple years ago. Really, I like that book a lot, and that chocolate story is one that I think everyone needs to hear. Just to summarize, it's a short story within a story--about a happy, delightful people who couldn't wear red or eat chocolate cake or they would become weak. But they had an enemy who didn't like their happiness and so he gradually tried to weaken them to chocolate cake and red through subtle means, like glamorous advertising of people wearing darker and darker shades of pink and eating more cake and more chocolate until they were inevitably combined.

Why do we buy into that stuff? Oh, they only lived with people they didn't really love, and they never showed them having sex. And what was all that business of talking about cyber-sex near the beginning? "We won't have anyone doing real sex in the movie"="No one will eat any chocolate cake in the movie, but there's no reason why they shouldn't talk about eating it, or eating white cake with chocolate frosting."

Why were they living with people they didn't love? What's wrong with getting married first? It seemed more to the point of showing that living together is a natural step and that after a few years you might decide you don't love someone after all, so it's a good thing they weren't married. Seriously. Do romantic comedies end in weddings any more? How many movies are being made these days with happily married couples?

I'm essentially chastising myself here. I know what to avoid and yet I watch those things occasionally too. And I haven't written to any media moguls to change things, but I need to rant anyway. It really is harder and harder to find a good romantic comedy with any kind of values, so while I would like the genre--I'm even writing in the genre--it's actually one of my least favorites because there's always so much trash in them.

So much for Happy Valentine's Day.

On a brighter note, I did get some candy from a coworker today. Although the pay is a pittance, yes, I do have a little job now--temp job, but it's nice to have coworkers again, especially if they help you celebrate the holiday in a way other than watching a lame movie. Yeah for candy! (Don't worry, it wasn't chocolate cake.)

Back in the Saddle?

2009-02-01T18:51:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling a little bit guilty about not writing, but also not reading. I went through a lot of old friends' Facebook profiles to get emails around Christmas time to send my end of year report. I'm not sure how many cared to hear it, but I always love getting people's letters, so I hope they liked it and hope they'll send me news from them!

Anyway, my point of saying that was that in getting those email addresses, I also gathered tons of blog addresses with good intentions of following them. But alas, life has been somewhat hectic with different things--babysitting jobs and a crazy temporary job I had over inauguration weekend that extended into this week.

I started to write a blog about that, but didn't finish it. Not sure if I will. It was really crazy--lots of things went wrong with this conference the company I was assigned to had organized so I was listening to calls from many upset parents and then following that, reading even more emails with outlined complaints. Some were better organized than others, and some kinder than others, but overall, lots of upset people. Doesn't make for a happy temporary employee.

I actually broke down crying, not bawling, just crying, one of the phone nights after a call with an arrogant father. Partly I was tired because I was essentially working two jobs during that time and not getting my beauty sleep, but also really tired of trying to diffuse people when I didn't have enough information myself to offer explanations and being impatient with the same hostile attitudes and arguments, over and over. And many times, I agreed with them for being upset. But having the company's rep on the other end of the phone agree that you should be upset and explaining why they need to send an email rather than venting to me (because there were too many calls for us to handle of other upset parents, and we needed to keep the lines open for kids in potential danger), didn't really help them calm down any. Okay, so there' a little of the blog I would have posted, though I was more detailed in it.

Moving on--so I wasn't keeping up with reading the blogs I had hoped to and finally weedled them down yesterday so I could manage the load. But don't worry, if I weedled off your blog, I never left a comment, so you probably didn't even know I was reading it anyway. :) I hope :?) I still have some catch up to do with the people I'm closer to and have been following for awhile, so my apologies if I was supposed to know something you'd written about.

Phew. Now that that's off my chest, maybe I can actually write something you want to read about. How many of you skimmed over that? It's okay, I would have if it had been your blog, so don't feel bad. But now I'll give you an easier skim--a little meme borrowed from Anne Marie :)

My ABC's

A = Age: 35
B = Bed size: full
C = Chore(s) you hate: making my bed
D = Dessert you love: cookies
E = Essential start your day item: banana--but sometimes I don't have any :(
F = Favorite actor(s): Colin Frith
G = Gold or Silver: silver
H = Height: 5'8ish"
I = Instruments you play: piano, flute
J = Job title: temp?
K = Kitchen color(s): mixed
L = Living arrangements: roommate who owns the townhouse
M = My name is: Heidi
N = Nicknames: Heidi-ho, Heidikins, Heidi hiccup
O = Overnight hospital stay(s): car accident, 1993; being born
P = Pets: none
Q = Favorite quote:
R = Right or left handed: right
S = Siblings: Sisters: Kim, Cyndi, Susie and Nancy. Brothers: David, John, Thom
Sisters-in-law: Sariah, Sarah, Laci; Brothers-in-law: Robert, Dan, Mike and Danny
T = Time you woke up today: 4:00 am, then again at 10:00 ish--harder to get up though
U= Unique about you: too much to write! Umm, I had black ponytails and a blond scalp when I was little.
V = Vegetable you love: salad, eggplant sometimes
W = Worst habit: scratching my head
X = X-Rays you've had: foot, teeth, arm, back, knee, ?
Y = Yummy food you make: breadsticks, crepes
Z = Zodiac Sign: cancer

Visit to Ohio

2009-01-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

Since I wasn't able to go home for Christmas, I decided to treat myself to something almost as good--I called up my old roommate Kristi from the early 90s and drove to the Akron area in Ohio. I've visited her a few times before, but it's been over five years since my last visit.

Her kids have grown so much, but they're still just as adorable.
We had a fun time just hanging out, playing Piranha Panic, Scrabble, Sorry, and army men. And we went to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua, which was actually pretty cute. I hadn't been enticed by the ads I saw on TV, but the trailers we watched on the internet before deciding to go were more appealing, and more accurate. Anyway, I would recommend it. Another fun thing was all the snow. The DC area hasn't had a notable storm for several years, but we got one while I was there in Ohio. I don't know how many inches, but it was definitely pretty, kind of made me nostalgic for home in Colorado and Utah.

But the best part was just hanging out and talking.

Books I Finished Reading in 2008

2009-01-03T21:10:00.001-07:00

Time to start a new list, so I'm copying this into a post for the record.

A New Dawn: Jack Weyland (reread)
America Street (short stories)
Bartholomew and the Ooblek; Dr. Seuss
Bronze Dragon Codex; R.D. Henham (Amie Rotruck)
Chaucer's Canterbury Tales retold and illustrated by Marcia Williams; Geoffrey Chaucer
Cheyenne in New York; Jack Weyland
Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book; Dr. Seuss
Duck for President; Doreen Cronin and Betsy Lewin
Esio Trot; Roald Dahl
Every Little Bird that Sings
FableHaven; Brandon Mull
Forever Kate; Cheri Crane
Good Masters! Sweet Ladies!
Happy Birthday to You: Dr. Seuss
Henry and Ribsy; Beverly Cleary
Hooray for Diffendoofer Day!; Dr. Seuss with help from Jack Perlutsky and Lane Smith
Horton Hatches the Egg; Dr. Seuss
Horton Hears a Who!; Dr. Seuss
I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today! and Other Stories: Dr. Seuss
I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew; Dr. Seuss
I'll Find You; Clair Poulson
If I Ran the Circus: Dr. Seuss
Junie B. Jones First Grade! (at last); Barbara Park
Just Lost; Mercer Mayer and Gina Mayer
Le Petit Nicolas; by Rene Goscinny and Jean-Jacques Sempe
Let Down Your Hair from The Princess School series; Jane B Mason and Sarah Hines Stephens
Love Beyond Tomorrow; Erin Klingler
Love is a Verb; Mary Ellen Edmunds
Magician in the Trunk, Time Spies series; Candice Ransom
Matilda; Roald Dahl
McElligot's Pool; Dr. Seuss
Miracles on Maple Hill; Virginia Sorensen
Mister Monday; Garth Nix
Molly Married? (reread)
Olivia; Ian Falconer
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish; Dr. Seuss
Pearl of Great Price; Jesus Christ
Press On; Joseph Wirthlin
Problem Child, Sisters Grimm; Michael Buckley
Ramona Forever; Beverly Cleary
Ribsy; Beverly Cleary
Scrambled Eggs Super; Dr. Seuss
Seeing Sky Blue Pink; Candice Ransom
So B. It; Sarah Weeks
Star Girl; Jerry Spinelli
Stella Stands Alone; A LaFaye
Teens, Temple Marriage, and Eternity; Alan Burgess
Tennis Shoes and the Feathered Serpent Book Two: Chris Heimerdinger
The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins; Dr. Seuss
The Adventure of Wisteria Lodge; Arthur Conan Doyle
The BFG; Roald Dahl
The Book of Mormon; various
The Butter Battle Book, Dr. Seuss
The Doctrine and Covenants; various, Joseph Smith
The Fantastic Mr. Fox; Roald Daul
The Giraffe, The Pelly and Me; Roald Dahl
The Goose Girl; Shannon Hale (reread)
The Higher Power of Lucky
The King's Stilts; Dr. Seuss
The Pearl of Great Price, Jesus Christ
The Pearl of Great Price; various, Jesus Christ
The Runaway Jury
The Schwa was Here
The Twits; Roald Dahl
The Woman in White; Wilkie Collins
To Draw Closer to God; Henry B. Eyring
Toot & Puddle; Holly Hobbie
Toot & Puddle: The Top of the World; Holly Hobbie
Toot & Puddle: You are my Sunshine; Holly Hobbie
Toot & Puddle: I'll be Home for Christmas; Holly Hobbie
Toning the Sweep; Angela Johnson
Twilight; Stephenie Meyer
Yearbook; Allyson Braithwaite Condie
Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories: Dr. Seuss

Happy New Year's Eve

2009-01-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

Last night I invited a few friends over to ring in the new year playing games, pretty low key. But we had a lot of fun. Four of my favorite people came over!

The Whitakers and the Clarks arrived about the same time, but upon arrival the men seemed to remember things they needed back in their homes, so they left us ladies here to have a shortened ladies' night out. And we really did take advantage of it--painted our toe nails! And it took the perfect amount of time, too, as we were just finishing up when the men returned.

Then we set into a great game of Puerto Rico, which I'd never heard of, but Marissa, who brought it, did a great job of explaining and guiding us all along the way. Ultimately, Erin blew us all out of the water. But I'm looking forward to playing again some time to show who's really boss!

We missed the ball dropping, by a minute. Someone noticed or had been paying attention to the time, and at about 11:57, asked if we had any pots and wooden spoons, then Marissa started pouring the sparkling cider, but we weren't all coordinated and with the tv on until exactly 12:00 by which time the ball was down. But at least we rang in the new year ourselves on time! Who needs New York anyway, right?

Happy Birthday Nancy!

2009-01-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, my baby sister Nancy was the New Year's baby in Loveland back in 1986. We got showered with all kinds of toys and things from local businesses. It was nice for my parents and baby Nancy, I'm sure, and a little fun for the rest of us.

But even aside from the media attention and little toys, we all loved having Nancy from day 1. She's got a lot of spunk, a little stubborn, but a very fun, happy spirit, and seems to love everyone.

She's very artistic, too--wrote a great poem about her baby awhile ago, and she made me a lovely necklace for Christmas. She also made me a matching pair of earrings, but one of my holes has closed up so I'm sadly not able to wear them.

What are my favorite memories of Nancy? Well, I actually shared a room with her twice. Once when she was a newborn. We had been taking turns having our own rooms at that point, but just when it landed on my turn, as I turned 12, Nancy was born and there weren't enough rooms for that any more, so I shared with her. I didn't generally mind, though. I took advantage and practiced my photography skills and other things. Good thing she's photogenic.
The second time was when I was at home waiting for my mission call in 1995. That year again! This was the other end of the year--the beginning. She was an imaginative 9-year-old, and very patient when I had my wisdom teeth out and had to spend lots of time in the room.

Most recently, because I was in Canada for Christmas in 2006, she was in California last Christmas, and I was out here this Christmas, the last time I saw her was at her wedding in the summer of 2006. But we've talked on the phone a few times since then and it's fun to have those conversations, as well as to communication through the myfamily.com site we have.

Now she has a baby of her own, if you can believe that. In the pictures up top, can you tell which one is my sister and which one is my niece? Okay I know one of them is obviously digital, but don't they look alike?

End of Year Letter

2008-12-28T17:31:00.000-07:00

Just a note--you'll have to click on "download" from the drop down thing beside "Menu" to read it in big format.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-26T21:53:00.000-07:00

For some reason this Christmas season seems to have just flown by. Perhaps because I'm not at work with work parties that seem to enhance and add to the feeling. Perhaps it's a blessing since I didn't get to go home this year.

I have been away from home one other Christmas, 1995, when I was on my mission in France. I was in Evry then, in a ward with huge geographical boundaries, so we normally didn't eat much at the members' homes. However, with the Christmas season, the ward mission leader decided to strongly encourage the members to feed us throughout the month and passed around sign up sheets. It was kind of nice to have that. Even with the encouragement, we didn't have "mangez-vous" every day (a missionaryism in France; most appointments were called rendez-vous, but when you got to eat, it was a mangez-vous), but still we got to meet quite a few more members than we'd known before and had some fun experiences seeing how the ethnically diverse members in the area lived, and particularly how they decorated for Christmas.

Or didn't decorate for Christmas. I had thought I'd learned in school that French people had a handful of Christmas traditions, and so I guess I assumed they'd dec their places out like we do in America. But it seems a lot of those traditions were in the nature of traditional as the "traditional" costumes you find on those "representative" dolls. People don't really dress like that any more. And they don't really decorate a lot either. (They did decorate--just not as much.)

On our visits, we asked the hosts what their Christmas memories and traditions included, often noting the toned-down sense we got. The answer I remember best was that they just felt the season for them was just about spending time with family.

Interesting. We do tend to think about it that way too, in the U.S., but that aspect can also have a tendency to get buried in the midst of all the places we have to go--those work parties, school things, concerts, etc.--things that tended to "cumber" my mother, as she wrote about in her story just published in The Ultimate Christmas (I know, shameless plug).

Still, even with all of the sometimes encumbering events, Christmas is about being with family, so it was a little strange to spend another Christmas without my own family. I did get to talk to my parents and then later my sister Nancy on the phone, though, which was nice. And my mom even talked me through some of things that she was doing to get the house ready for the dinner when my brothers and Nancy and their families would be coming over--so, like reading a story with good descriptions, she kind of brought me there with her words. The snowmen were lined up on the shelves and the little village was set out on the desk. The Christmas tree was up and in the family room, with only two stockings this year--one for Mom and one for Dad. What a change that is! She was shaking out the table cloth. Does this look like the right side up? And even better than reading, I got to hear her voice.

On Christmas day in 1995, we ate at the Relief Society president's house, and since she was actually an American, her house was pretty dec'd out, so it did feel a little more homey for the American in me. I also got to talk to my family that day, too. My strongest memory of that day, however, was that we just sat around for what felt like hours--I'm not sure how long it was, actually, but it felt like way too long. And we weren't really doing anything. I hated being idle, so I kept suggesting that we go caroling or something, but nobody was willing to go with me, and missionaries can't just do things alone, aside from the fact that caroling alone is just weird. So I remained crammed on the couch, trying not to get too close to an Elder, and not feeling like much of a missionary, particularly on Christmas. Besides, I really did want to sing. I played the piano in sacrament meetings in that ward, so I didn't get to sing much at all those months in Evry.

Yesterday, however, I did get to sing. And it was wonderful! What a great blessing for me. A girl in one of the colonial wards had posted on the general listserv that she was going to sing in the hospital on Christmas morning and anyone was welcome to come. That just sounded awesome, so I prayed I'd get up on time, and Heavenly Father lovingly answered that prayer. The four other people who came along were great company and had great singing voices, and the girl who had posted even played the guitar along the way, which added a sweet sound.

But the best part of course, was seeing the happy faces of those unfortunate individuals who had no choice but to be out of their homes and idle on the great holiday. We saw some radiating faces, including an elderly woman, probably in her 80s or 90s, who was just a huge smile the whole time. Another woman who had something that prevented her from speaking, wrote us a thank you note on her clipboard and tapped her foot as we sang. What a great treat that was.

Then later in the day, I was also blessed with the opportunity to spend time with a family, friends of mine. A couple weeks ago, when we celebrated the mother's retirement, the friend who prayed the blessing on the food called us a strange family in the prayer. It was kind of funny at the time, but I think his point was that we're all kind of a family though we grew up in different families. And it's true. They're great people, the Rogers, and I'm so glad they opened their home and their hearts to me.

Like my day in Evry, the meal was not "traditional," but that was just fine. I had turkey about a month ago. The laid back atmosphere and feeling like family was the most important thing about the season definitely rang true yesterday. So while I hope next year I can be with my own family, this year was a merry Christmas still. I am so very blessed.

Car Key Adventure

2008-12-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

My car has a safety feature that is supposed to keep you from locking your keys in. That is, you're not supposed to be able to lock the door while it's open. And so for the first little while that I owned my car, I ignorantly waited until I was out of the car, then locked it with the key. (They also didn't give my automatic locks with the little button keychain contraption, which was a major disappointment, but that's another story.)

However, it wasn't too long before I noticed that sometimes the door would manage to lock before I closed the door, and soon realized it was when I was still holding the handle open from the inside. That is, if I pressed down the lock at the same time as I had the handle out for opening the door, it locked, so I didn't have to use the key. Once I figured that out, I have been locking the door without the key--for the past five and a half years. Never once have I locked my car keys in the car.

Until Thursday.

I went to the BYU Management Society luncheon in DC in the morning (it started at 12:00. I left in the morning). For some reason I felt I really needed to go, though I'm not sure why exactly. I mean it was good--perhaps worthy of another post. But anyway, since I was running late, I decided to drive to the metro station closest to DC where I could park, which was Pentagon City. It also has the highest parking fee. But since it's in a mall garage, once I realized I could validate parking, I figured it was worth it. It's Christmas season, after all. Surely there must be something I could buy.

But I was selfish, bought something for myself, and something that even contradicts my personal standards. (I've deleted the post that indicates what this personal standard is, but for those of you who remember, it has to do with clothes and has nothing to do with modesty.) And so I was punished. Maybe.

On my way home from the mall, I stopped at a gas station in Alexandria city, kind of near a place I used to live, so I was familiar with the area, and it also had the cheapest gas I'd seen around --at $1.63. Not bad, huh? (Across the street it was $1.64, but when I came back later in the evening, they'd dropped to $1.61. I suppose you never can keep up.)

I'd been pretty warm in the mall, and I'd gotten a sweet parking spot--the closest possible to Macy's in the covered parking. So my coat was off, laying on the passenger seat. But I could really feel the cold once I started the gas pumping so I was going to just sit back in my car and wait, when Wait! I can't open the door. What? I locked the door, and there on top of my coat sat my purse, which had my cell phone and every phone number I could possibly need, and my keys. Yikes.

So I ran into the the gas station and told them the dilemma. The nice manager, an Indian man in his 60s or 70s teased me a bit. "You have a spare key in your house? It will cost $100 or more to get a locksmith." Eesh.

"Yes, I think I know I have a spare key, and I think I know where it is."

"Do you want to call someone?"

"I have two roommates, but their phone numbers are in my phone. I don't know them."

"You don't know your roommates' phone numbers?" He was surprised. "Do you have a house phone? You could yell at the answering machine for someone to pick up."

"We have a house phone, but I don't know that number either. It's my roommate's, so I don't give it out."

"You don't know your house phone number?"

Luckily a man checking out defended me, "I don't know my wife's phone number. I just scroll to it and pop. Push the button."

"Oh, so that's how it works these days. Nobody knows their friends' numbers."

I guess he didn't have a cell phone. Some people, I suppose are not as connected. This digital world isn't quite as completely digital as we sometimes like to convince ourselves, perhaps.

"Do you have a job?"

"No. I'm looking."

"Oh, no no. No job. Looking for a husband, too, right?"

"Of course." I smiled and laughed.

"Maybe God wanted you to lock your keys in your car, so we could meet?" (He was kind of a funny guy, at least.) "Well, if you can't get a hold of anyone, you can come sleep at my house--don't worry, I have a separate bed."

Ha ha. But seriously, he told me later he would have taken me all the way to my house, which was a few miles away and since it was kind of close to rush hour, it would have been a long haul. But since my house key was also on my key chain, he figured that wouldn't have worked so well.

I didn't think the Sonoco would have the internet, but I knew the internet would have my friends' numbers. So I asked if they knew anywhere nearby that might have it. They looked stumped, so I decided just to wander around, over to the outdoor mall just a few yards away. Someone had to have some means to the internet.

I thought I vaguely remembered that maybe an old friend's dad owned a store in the corner, so I headed to that corner, but that store wasn't there. Ah. No, that was another outdoor mall near another place where I used to live. Yeah, I've lived in too many places. But aha! In that corner, there was a Kodak place. And lo and behold, they even had a computer with internet access right there in their lobby.

Answers to prayers!

I sent an email to my roommates, then found a phone number, and ran back to the Sonoco to call. Then waited and waited. Maybe I should have gotten the other roommate's number, too. Though Angelee was more likely to be home around the 4:00 hour when this was taking place, she had lost her phone last I heard. So I ran back to the Kodak place to get a few more phone numbers. And then, just as I had written them down, I turned to find the nice Indian face standing beside me. He'd come to get me so I didn't have to walk back in the cold. Ah. what a nice man.

Back at the Sonoco, I placed a few more calls, left a few messages, and chatted with the nice man for awhile. He had never married, had no children, but did have a few brothers and they had children. He liked being a good uncle, particularly to his one brother's daughter, but she'd decided to go out with a boy he didn't approve of so she wasn't speaking to him. Very sad. But he did have other brothers to spend time with. He was very close to his mother, but she'd passed away a few years ago. So now it was just him. He seemed to have a really positive attitude about everything, though. Very upbeat. Nice to meet new people, see the world through other people's eyes for a brief time. Maybe God did want me to lock my keys in my car so I could meet him.

Then I remembered some other people who might have keys to my house and might be home, so the nice Indian man (I never did get his name) drove me back to the Kodak place where they welcomed me warmly again. All kinds of friends to be made, huh? Then he drove me back and I made a few more calls. Finally, yeah! I got a hold of Carrie, my wonderful, sweet roommate. She hadn't found the spare where I thought it was, but she was coming to get me.

I knew she had something going on that night so I was so grateful she was able to come. And it had been awhile since we'd talked with all of our comings and goings. And in answer to prayers, again, I found my spare shortly after I got home. Carrie had to go out, as I'd thought, but when she came back, she was so kind to take me back and get my car. Everything worked out just fine. And really, it was all in answer to other prayers that I get a little exercise (which I did, running back and forth between Kodak and Sonoco places, as well as earlier that day to get to the BYU luncheon), that I have things to do outside my apartment and visit with people.

I didn't quite get a job out of it, but I guess I can't have everything. Still, it wasn't such a bad punishment for my selfish purchase, after all.

Happy Birthday Mom and Dad!

2008-12-17T08:58:00.001-07:00

My parents birthdays are ten days apart, and I was neglectful of remembering my blog on my mom's birthday, but alas my dad's has come along and I remembered, so I'll combine! They're married, so they're one anyway, right?

First my mom since her birthday was first.
My mom is amazing! She is the definition of organization and time management. She has charts and lists and records of everything, to help her keep track of her 8 children, her husband, and now her 19 grandchildren, I'm sure. My fond memories of her include: drawing lessons she gave me one summer when I was in elementary school (That was part of a one-on-one time project with all of her children, and I loved learning to draw from her.); Playing with her old Barbies in her bedroom; Shopping with her and sharing the handle of the buggy as we scooted around the store; Many telephone conversations; Reading her cute poems; and more recently, her visit out to see me in 2004 even though she was scared to death of the traffic and everything. I love you Mom!

And now my dad since he's second. And today!
My dad is also amazing! He has a fun sense of humor that I think I picked up on a little. And he's fun to watch with his grandchildren. They seem to love him, too. He's very easy-going and loving. Some of my favorite memories with my dad include: going to see the Princess Bride in the theater (you might not remember, but it wasn't a box office hit. To me, this was doing something a little unusual that I knew my dad would like and being pleasantly surprised that I really liked it too.); Learning how to drive in cold Colorado mornings on the way to seminary; short and sweet father messages at Family Home Evening (Be Good); Getting lost on the way home from the airport; Talking on the telephone, in the living room, in their bedroom; Getting his kind letter to me while I was on my mission; Hearing his testimony of how much he loves my mom; Learning a few Swedish words from him when I was a kid; and so many more! I love you Papa!

Seeing Sky-Blue Pink

2008-12-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

Seeing Sky-blue Pink by Candice F. Ransom

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is a beautiful story. Lots of great images and lyrical writing. Candice is my friend, so perhaps I'm biased, but I don't think so. I think this book is worthy of attention. It's more character-driven and episodic than a lot of books I read, though it has a uniting conflict element. Some young children might have trouble understanding a book that isn't as plot-driven, but they will surely love the language and the little adventures Maggie goes on. A nice hark back to the family stories by great authors like E. Nesbit, Elizabeth Enright, Edward Eager, whom I learned to appreciate in the families class at Hollins. (Candice was in that class, and though this book just came out, it appears it was in the works already at that time, and she didn't say anything! She's definitely a humble woman, and funny as heck! If you have a chance to meet her, I would recommend it.)

View all my reviews.

Bronze Dragon Codex, review

2008-12-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

Bronze Dragon Codex by R.D. Henham

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
I loved this book. I thought the moral of the story was unique and refreshing, and the writing quality was excellent. I'll confess I originally bought the book because my friend from Hollins wrote it (Amie Rotruck), so partly for curiosity and partly desire to support her. I don't usually read a lot of dragon books. But I'm glad I did because I was thoroughly impressed. Way to go Amie!

View all my reviews.

Seeing the Blue Between

2008-12-09T10:23:00.000-07:00

Seeing the Blue Between: Advice and Inspiration for Young Poets by Paul B. Janeczko

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
This is a great book for teaching about poetry. The different featured poets share their sometimes contradictory opinions about poetry, which gives the reader a broad scope of perspectives on the subject. And the poems, too, provide a broad scope of the genre, as well as being cute, clever, and enlightening. The targeted audience is obviously children, but it doesn't need to be.

View all my reviews.

Another Inadvertent Advertisement

2008-12-03T12:20:00.000-07:00

Since it seems the big publishers in Utah like to have full paper copies of your manuscript for consideration, and since the last time I printed the whole thing I ran out of black ink and had to print about 100 pages in color (sorry Hillary!) for my thesis advisor, I decided to look into printing it at a shop. This would also save me from nursing the printer since I can only print like 20 pages at a time from my little baby.

Yeah. I called Kinko's. The guy said it would be $25 for my 252 pages. Eesh. I guess it makes sense. And even thinking about the competition of myself doing it, I realized that it wouldn't be that much less for the paper and the ink cartridges I'd go through. But eesh. Eager for a sale, he continued "if you print multiple copies, you might get a discount." "Okay, how about five?" "[numbers, numbers, numbers, calculation words, numberes] comes to about $99--that's 40% off!" Eesh. Do I really want five copies? Is simultaneous submission really worth $100?

When money's tight, I have a hard time justifying that. He concluded by telling me they price matched, so if I found it cheaper anywhere else, they'd match the price. Well, that's nice, I thought. Thanks. But eesh was still running through my brain. Maybe I'll try to publish on the national market where I'd only have to worry about the first three chapters.

So I know there's one Utah/unofficial LDS publisher that accepts emailed ms's, but their Author Questionnaire kind of indicated they wanted any sequels to be ready within a year. That's another eesh. (Though if you're reading this, sorry. I might still try you :). I have even gone ahead and started writing the sequel.)

That was a few days ago I called. But today, after this over two months of unemployment, well, let's just say I might still consider petitioning Congress on that bill. Seriously, we're in a recession. If I'd known that when I was contemplating quitting my last temp agency, maybe I would have proceeded differently. I'm still not sure though. I've run the feelings I was having at that time over and over in my mind, and I'll admit I probably made a mistake. But it might have just been time to quite anyway. Regardless, in this slump of job searching, I've of course thought that if my book sells, I might make some money, probably more than enough to cover that $25 dollars to print it. Finally today, I decided to go ahead and print it.

After making sure the latest copy was saved on my stick, ready to take to Kinko's, I had this other thought. Hm. They match prices. That must mean there are other companies. Duh, I knew that. At the job I had from February through June this year, I had to call several copy places to see if they would do a certain kind of print job and then again to see if they had a certain cartridge. Both times, I ended up walking quite a distance, once in a terrible downpour in my worst pair of shoes with a cruddy umbrella. Maybe that's why I blocked it.

But hey, it's not raining today. Thanks for unblocking me Kinko's! So, where are these, your competitors? I quickly did a Google search "copy centers near 22306," and a list pulled up. Staples. Well, that kind of makes sense. This other place on Belleview, near where I live. Interesting. I called them both--both had better deals than Kinko's. Staples had $.09 per page plus $2 handling fee. The Belleview place $.07 per page and $5 handling fee. Wow. Belleview was closer. That sounded pretty decent, even, too.

In the mean time, I had another errand to take care of in Old Town Alexandria, so I headed up there to take care of that, then was just going to stop by Belleview on the way back. But lo and behold, on my way to the building in Old Town, I see ABC printing on the corner--same building. Since I'm here, I might as well ask, I thought. Good thing I did too. $.07 per page and no handling fee. Wahoo. Now if that don't beat all.

So, of course I could get a quote from them and run it over to Kinko's. Riiight.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-30T15:30:00.000-07:00

Did everyone have a great Turkey day? I had a nice one, thanks.
Thinking about thanks this week has actually been a great blessing. I was ready to post a message about how Congress should pass some law so that I don't have to look for work because it's not helping me in my pursuit of happiness. I know what you're thinking--I don't have to look for work. But the alternatives would result in an even greater difficulty toward my pursuit of happiness. So you're wrong. Ha! Nonetheless, I know I'm wrong too. As indicated before, the inclusion of opposition in our lives is all toward the end that many might have joy, so I am thankful for it on this week of thanks. I am also grateful for many more things. I have been greatly blessed during this time that my money dwindles and my need for employment magnifies itself in my daily life. I've had great friends helping me out not only with meals, but also with smiling faces and hugs and understanding, as well as expressions of appreciation for my talents and service. I'm also grateful for the Church. What a great blessing to be a member of it! To have a perspective on life that it offers me and to know about my Savior. But also for the temporal blessings they offer during financial struggles, and opportunities they provide to serve so that I don't feel as deeply in debt as I might otherwise. I also have an incredibly wonderful family--the best two parents on the whole planet, I would venture to say. There are at least seven people who would agree with me, but I think even more if they knew my parents. I'm sure Heavenly Father was wise to give them to me. And so, so many more things, that I can hardly even count. What are you grateful for?
(P.s. I would still be even more grateful if you know of work I can do and you pass it on :) )

All About Me

2008-11-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big fan of Beaches, nor do I remember this line myself, but a friend of mine used to quote it, and I think it's cute and appropriate for today. When the girls are young and just getting to know each other, one of them, after speaking at length about herself, says, "Enough about me. What do you think about me?"

A couple months ago I bought this book I'm an English Major--Now What? And in the first chapter, one of the things the author suggests is that you have a meeting with your friends where they write down your qualities on a piece of paper to give to you. I think the idea is for anonymity or something.

Oh no! I just remembered--it's so that people don't influence each other. Well, I screen all comments before they post anyway, so if you don't see any comments that doesn't necessarily mean no one has--it just means I haven't accepted them yet. So we can maintain that.

So, anyway, of course, if I had friends all in the same room, we could actually talk at great length about me after the straw poll, or uh, paper thing. Fun, fun. But since many of my friends are hither and yon, and since gathering a meeting about myself even for local friends feels a little excessive, I'll shoot out the question on here--

what are my most marketable skills? And for good measure, go ahead and tell me something I could do to improve my marketability. I'm not looking for suggestions about careers, just skills.

This might look like an ulteriorly motivated post to see who's actually reading, but I really do want to know. If you want to post anonymously, that's okay, too. Thank you!

Veterans' Day

2008-11-17T14:26:00.000-07:00

I have some free time! Of course I should probably be doing something else, but I have a tinge of a migraine and can't concentrate on too much else. Pictures are usually okay though. Last Tuesday, Veterans' Day, Carrie invited friends over for games. For a few hours, Irene and Ken were our only guests, so we got into a really long train game. It was lots of fun, even though I ended the game stuck at the end of a road that I didn't have enough money to continue building. It actually felt way too much like a parallel to my life, so I'm glad they called the game and it ended there. The nice thing about a game--next time I'll know better.

Happy Birthday to Kim!

2008-11-15T15:52:00.000-07:00

I'm a few days late for this, but my big sister had her 37th birthday earlier this week. Wow. She's getting old. He he.

Some of my favorite memories of Kim include hanging out with her when she lived in Orem and I in Provo in the early 90s. We did fun things, too, but she was also there to let me stay in her apartment both to take care of me and to keep me away from noise and stairs in my own after my car accident in 93. Not too long after that, she met, started dating and married her husband, so I had fun getting to know him a little bit too. This is a picture from shortly after they were engaged, in my apartment at that time, 94.

Since then, I've also had good memories with Kim, and her kids. Most recently, she took me up to Alberta for my grandpa's funeral. It was great to spend time with her family on that road trip from SLC on up. She's a great big sister! Happy Birthday Kim!

Photo Tag

2008-11-09T15:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Sarah Jarvie for this. I've been feeling bad about neglecting my blog. It's not exactly that I haven't had time. I have lots of time without a job. But in that lots of time I have, I like to be either looking for work, applying for work, working on my thesis essay or my novel. And if that's not enough to keep anyone busy, there's always the nagging Tetris game that just has to be played. Seriously. :)

But I do miss writing in here a little. And this was an easy tag, too. Curiously, it also happens to continue with the subject of my last entry: my brother John.

The rules are to include the fourth photo in the fourth file in your computer. And this shot with my brother watching some TV with his son Josiah happens to be that. Yeah John!

I tag anyone that wants to do it.

Happy Birthday John!

2008-10-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

So I know I've been keeping this blog for awhile now and some of my family members' birthdays have past in the time, but I'm just now piecing things together and realizing that that thing I see some other bloggers do--like wishing people other than themselves happy birthday on their blogs--is a good idea. So, sorry other folks, but yeah for John! My favorite brother John! (I have a favorite brother David and a favorite brother Thom, too.) But you get to be the first!

Today is the big 31 for little John! (well, not so little. I think he's the tallest boy).
I didn't get a very good family shot last Christmas, but at least I got one, right?
The one below is a little more classic John, giving me that look that says, "Heidi, you're nuts, but I love ya, so I'll put up with ya." And that brings me to this--what are my favorite things about John? He's got a great sense of humor, a great smile and laugh to go with it--full of energy and optimism. He doesn't take himself too seriously and gives great hugs--and punches and self defense, demobilization moves, too--all in terms of affection.

Some of my favorite memories of John are his climbing up on top of the living room closet, him letting me braid his hair into millions of tiny little braids (this was when he was in high school and actually had hair), hanging out in Fort Collins and letting me teach him how to get his date's door, and then after I graduated from college and lived at home for awhile, we drove to Greeley together quite a bit for church things and had some good conversations.

I love you little bro and miss you! Hope you have a good birthday!

The Church's position on Prop 8

2008-10-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

I found this on a friend's blog--good to know! I don't know if Cameron follows me--but thanks!
http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-divine-institution-of-marriage

Some More connections, thoughts, proposition 8

2008-10-13T10:52:00.001-07:00

I've continued to think about the subject, and a few more thoughts have come to mind. The connections are kind of hinted at, but I didn't even fully make them in my brain until this morning.
Interestingly, it's kind of a flip from the opinions I've read about leaving the decision about who they'll marry to the religions. But that's actually it exactly. In order to assure their right to the pursuit of happiness, or their agency, homosexuals should be allowed to "marry" if they choose to call it that, in their private circumstances, be it religiously or whatever, but let the rights and privileges be bound only within the religion and not be connected to the state.

That is, inasmuch as religion is an institution of state, this implies financial and legal obligations to its protection and to the protection of the participating parties. This is justified because marriage has been determined to have positive influences on the governed people, at least inasmuch as they service the children of the nation. Other thoughts have come to me that even without children, the unit of marriage benefits society in its best practice because marriages bring together the minds of both sexes in a way that no other organization can, and the uniting of the sexes' gifts and ways of thinking is a benefit to society.

Therefore, in order to justify the expenditures of government on the marriages of homosexual couples (inasmuch as it has been determined the government does expend), it would need to be proven that these unions add to society in the same way that the unions of heterosexuals do. Because these unions do not bring together the minds of both sexes, and the raising of children within such has not been determined to benefit society in the same way, then there is no justification for the inclusion of these unions under the government's protective and promotional measures as are instituted for the cause and institution of marriage.

Additionally, inasmuch as government funds are involved in the decision to include these unions in the legal definition, the voice of the people must be sought. Therefore, the judges exercised decisions outside of their powers, and the votes of the people should stand for the determination to maintain the definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman.

California's Proposition 8

2008-10-12T13:53:00.000-07:00

My aunt sent an email with a link to a blog that was passing on information about an interfaith fast today for Proposition 8. The blogger indicated in her post that the Church supported the proposition, and then there were a number of commentators from both sides jabbing each other about the issue. So, I'm going to start off by saying that I don't think I have that many readers who will be prone to comment, but if for whatever reason outsiders or insiders find this and want to comment, I welcome positive thoughts, particularly logical, kind-hearted notes and pieces of factual information. I do allow comments from anyone; however, I moderate them before they show up, so if you have unkind things to say, I might read them, but no one else will in this forum.

What I'd like to do here is explore a few things surrounding the issue and the Church's support (if this is indeed true. Today, as happens every October during political parading season, the bishop read the statement from the First Presidency reminding members of its political neutrality. It even had a line that I hadn't remembered hearing before that indicated members of both political parties had beliefs consistent with the teachings of the Church. That was good to hear.)

So, on to my reasoning:
A number of people both on the blog I read and in general when I've read things regarding this issue, point out the connection of marriage and religion, many trying to emphasize the connection, but without making logical points of connection and separation. The facts are that marriages can be made by religious officials and by state officials. Religions may have their opinions and enforce them about who they may marry, but the binding forces on the marriage are different between state and religion based on the authority of each of these offices.

Let's consider for a moment, how the nation would be affected if marriage were only an institution of religion. Since money is created and governed by the state, the religion could not enforce any monetary obligations on either member of the marriage party. This would mean there would be no such things as alimony, joint tax filings, or marriage-related tax breaks or tax increases. . I don't know enough about child support but it shouldn't be connected to marriage, so hopefully that wouldn't be affected, but otherwise, a wife would not have legal claim on her husband, nor a husband on his wife.

Given this much, it seems as if the state would have much fewer hassles, fewer forms, and monetary trials if they weren't associated with marriage.

Therefore, there must be a benefit to the state if they want to have some governance over the issue. In the case of financial crisis, perhaps the institution benefits them inasmuch as it creates jobs: tax people to handle all the ins and outs mentioned above; family-type lawyers and their associated workers to handle divorces and alimony.

But, well, I kind of think there's probably more to it than that. True enough, some governments might look to create a number of useless institutions just for the sake of jobs, but tax-payers don't like to pay for new institutions the government finances. And yet people haven't fussed about the government having government-paid people to handle the records associated with it--marriage licenses, etc. so the people must also like nor not mind that the state has governance over marriage. Given the above financial reasons, it seems it is in the people's interest to maintain the connection, so inasmuch as it is already an institution, it would be difficult for the government to remove the connection given the potential outcry of its people.

Now, to go back a minute, if there had never been a connection, what would be some benefits for a government to regulate marriage? (Supposing a new country were to form, for example.) Given statistics and study findings from existing countries in which marriage is a common institution (regardless the state vs. religion regulations), it would seem that marriage provides an assurance for the better education of its people. That is, there have been studies to indicate that children who live with married parents perform better in school. Therefore, this would indicate that promoting marriage would be a benefit to the state.

Along with this, although divorce is widespread, inasmuch as studies indicate the greater likelihood of parents to stay together if they are married than if they are not, this would add to the benefit of promoting marriage.

Do these pieces of information, however, indicate that governing marriage would be in their interest? This is a multi-faceted question. First, does governance constitute promotion? Not directly, no. Because government could decide against tax breaks and joint filings and still govern marriage, and in fact create tax increase to married couples, this would indicate that governance does not directly correlate with promoting marriage.

However, government can more effectively promote marriage by governing, or taking jurisdiction over it. Given the benefits to the people indicated earlier, such as the assistance with alimony as needed, and other financial benefits, such as potential tax breaks, some people would be more prone to marry than they would be if the governing of marriage worked against their favor. Therefore, yes, inasmuch as those studies are accurate, it would be in the government's interest not just to regulate marriage but to pass such laws as would promote it.

Questions also arise about the interest in government of regulating marriage for those couples who do not have children whose education they are influencing, but about this, I don't know how to approach an argument in one way or the other. I'm sure there are people out there with significant facts in both directions, but my knowledge is limited. Even what information I have provided I recognize is all looking at things somewhat "logically" only, therefore idealistically, and also with only the perspectives of my limited knowledge of how government affects marriage. Although I am aware of a number of perspectives and have tried and will try to consider them as I continue, I cannot possibly take into account the numerous perspectives and attitudes given the immensity of the voting public.

So, we've come to the point that it seems it is in government's best interest to maintain regulation over marriage and to promote it. But the question on the ballot is not this but rather how to define marriage. So, if the reasoning I have provided were sufficient and complete to the end of the government regulating marriage, looking at this information, which definition of marriage would be more beneficial to the government's scope of influence over marriage? That is, some of have said, as I indicated earlier, that this definition should rest within the realm of religious influence rather than the states. However, inasmuch as the government has jurisdiction over marriage, and all things over which government has influence must be defined, the argument of leaving this definition alone to religion is not possible.

So, the points that make marriage a benefit to government:
1. (within a government in which marriage is already governed) to avoid an outcry from the people whom it benefits.

2. to promote the education of its children/rising generation who will be its workers and leaders in later years.

How would the definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman alone respond to number 1?
Since there has already been an outcry regarding this aspect of the definition, and the people have voted in several states, including the state in which the question has arisen, that marriage be defined as between a man and a woman, then it would stand in the government's best interest to follow the voice of the people.

How would the definition of marriage as being the union of two people regardless their gender respond to number 1?
Given that government has instituted benefits for marriage, those who are not able to participate in these benefits feel they are being unfairly treated and therefore they are crying out for change so they can participate in these benefits. The question then is, are these benefits rights of the governed people, or privileges? Do all people have a right to these benefits simply because they love another person? This leads to the reasons for the benefits being established, which, within my limited knowledge, seems to hinge more directly on number 2.

So, no. 2. How would the definition of marriage as being a union between a man and a woman alone respond to no. 2?
Studies would have to indicate that the marriage between a man and a woman significantly impacted their children's productivity and that the children of another union did not or even impacted the children negatively. Given the number of factors that contribute to such a study, this would be difficult.

How would the definition of marriage as being a union between two people of whatever gender respond to no. 2?
Studies would have to indicate that the children of such a union were negatively impacted being raised by parents of the same gender. The studies could not focus on single parenthood and therefore not of one gender or the other, but specifically of the raising of a child with two parental units of the same gender.

While the reasoning has led me in interesting directions, I have to say that even as I write about the idea of two parents of the same gender, I feel bothered enough to removes "logic" from the picture. But it does make me wonder about the definition of another word that seems to be involved in this equation: parent. BioLogically, the parents of any child consist of a man and a woman. No scientific experimentation has ever produced a child with the uniting reproductive cells of two men or of two women. Therefore, any meddling with this definition is artificial. Does the state have the right, then, to govern the definition of parent?

In some instances, it seems to have taken this within its jurisdiction--inasmuch as children or parents can be "disowned"--removed from financial obligations, and inasmuch as companies/agencies are allowed to give children to a single parent in an adoption circumstance. The very nature of giving a child up for adoption seems to indicate a legal removal of the title "parent" thereby leaving some children without parents of either gender. And I would not argue against adoption. It is good that some biological parents do not have legal rights to parent their children. So there is good reason for the state to have some say about this definition. But as far as defining what kind of parents a child can be given to, it seems natural laws would indicate a better circumstance consists in the unity of two people of opposite sexes parenting a child.

So, all of this also reminds me of a significant point I've left out--the constitution argument about people's right to the pursuit of happiness--the argument that seems to have led to this second time around of this vote on the California ballot. The point the judges made was that by denying marriage to homosexual couples, the state was discriminating against their right to the pursuit of happiness. So, the question is begged that the marriage between two homosexuals constitutes a step in the direction of their pursuing happiness. And yet, we have no factual data to indicate that the unnatural union of two people constitutes movement in the direction of happiness. With this, there would have to be studies to indicate a few things, actually--that homosexual people are actually happier when they are married than when they are not (which would be impossible given the illegality of this), and that they are happier being homosexual than pursuing a direction of trying to become heterosexual.

Of course proving that any activity contributes to the pursuit of happiness would be a rather difficult course to pursue, including many of the rights we enjoy. Perhaps, though, embedded in this statement in the constitution is the realization that sometimes the pursuit of happiness entails allowing people to pursue whatever they will, even if it leads to unhappiness, because from their unhappy course they are essentially learning how to find the happy course, which brings the whole thing full circle to indicate that any activity at all can constitute pursuit of happiness and the statement really means only that people need to be allowed their agency. And yet we know that absolute agency does not promote the happiness of everyone. For example, if murder were not illegal, because we had to allow the murdered their agency, few people would agree this promoted the pursuit of happiness sufficiently.

Therefore, the argument of allowing gay marriage with the reason of allowing pursuit of happiness would also have to indicate that the people whose lives their union would influence, such as children they would be permitted to adopt (including the other in a party in which one was the biological parent), were also permitted a greater chance at pursuing happiness than they would be if they were placed in homes with parents of both genders. And I don't think any study has indicated this. But again, we come full circle because we don't know what would constitute the pursuing of happiness for these children.

So, I'm not sure exactly what my logic has led to, but these last points do bring up another point that I had hoped to explore, that of agency as it relates to the Church's position on things. Because the Church promotes free agency--recognizing that this is one of the greatest gifts of God--in most cases, the Church would not support laws that took away from others' agency. In the Book of Mormon, in one of the stories, there's a passage that indicates there were no laws in the particular government at that time that could bind a man to believe in God, so although such a man was trying to influence others not to believe in God, the government could do nothing to restrain him. And because the laws were originally established by people who wanted to follow God, we are led to recognize that man's agency is of utmost importance, until it leads to terrible things, such as murder (which happened in this case I think).

So, if the Church is indeed in favor of this proposition, it must be because it will actually lead to the removal of agency. It seems hard to see this because it initially promotes agency, but on the blog that I read originally, one of the commentators actually indicated that indeed the passing of such definition of non-gender-defined marriage had impacted others rights to religious freedom and other rights of agency, with one example regarding adoption. I don't remember the specifics, but the person's logic and facts seemed to be sound, and it was also interesting that the person indicate he was himself gay and in favor of this proposition for those reasons.

Well, so there are my thoughts. I guess my conclusion has to rest on my own feelings because logic without sufficient information, which it seems there cannot even be given the nature of the issues, won't lead me to any conclusion. And so, although this isn't an issue on my current ballot, I have to say I still believe I voted well when it was on the ballot in Virginia a couple years ago. Best of luck to you in your thinking.

Choose Your Own Adventure

2008-10-07T15:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took a walk in my neighborhood. I've taken walks before, but I decided to find new paths, so I first took this path I found, from a small entrance on the side of the street into a little wooded area. I followed the path for awhile, but soon found the path seemed to have been covered over. I thought it might pick up again, especially since I thought it might connect to another path I'd been on before. I kept going, and indeed found evidences of a path. But eventually, the shrubbery came up to high and I had no choice but to turn around.

Back on the road, though a little further down the road from where I entered, I continued on my way. I hadn't been gone very long, after all.

Soon enough, I found the little wooded park (and I mean little) with the path I'd taken before. It forked right at the entrance. And since I knew, from taking it before, that going left led me quite a ways from home, I decided to take the path to the right and see how close it got me, also curious to see if it connected to the other wooded area.

They might have. But I didn't find out. A chain link fence ran along the middle of the woods on my left as I walked the whole way. And before long, another chain link fence came up on the right, separating the woods from people's yards and homes. That was fine. The pathed area got smaller. That was fine. But eventually, I got to a place where it looked like the fences merged. I kept walking though, maybe out of curiosity or maybe determination. Curiously, the fences didn't merge, and the path continued between them. The path was the whole width of the space between the fences, just a few feet, like a typical path, but it was enough. Kind of fun to explore, I thought. Kind of fun. As i continued, quite a few branches from trees hung over

But well, eventually, the path on the left folded over onto the fence on the right. I could have fit and crawled along the path below the folded over area. It didn't seem too long. But it looked as if the path narrowed significantly afterward. I stopped for a few minutes, wondering if I should try, if it was worth it. Finally I turned around and went all the way back.

But I don't regret going. It kind of felt like a Choose Your Own Adventure book I used to read when I was a kid. Of course I never gave up and stopped reading when I died: got bitten by a snake, sank in quick sand, poisoned by a comrade, or ran into a dead end. I just turned around and picked up where I left off. Perhaps, I thought as I was turning around yesterday, reading those books even gave me some courage to try new things for curiosity. If all else failed, I could just turn around and try something else.

Of course, sometimes I'm not courageous enough, but it's one example of good things books have done.

National Book Festival

2008-10-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

I have a few things I want to blog about, including some tags/memes, but I promised my personal journal on Sunday when I didn't spend much with it that I'd blog about the book festival then copy and paste into it.

So! I've attended the national book festival for the past three years, but for the first time this year I had a friend to go with! Yeah! My temporary roommate Kim. I'm so glad she came with me, too. We had a great time.

We left our apartment around 10:30ish and arrived 11:15, early for the first speaker I wanted to see, Neil Gaiman, so we wandered around the Pavilion of States for a little while. This is one place where it was good to have a friend with me because in years past I've gone to every single state booth with lofty ambitions about seeing where great books were coming from, find great new titles, and uh, getting the freebies. My first year I went late enough in the day that I actually got a free book from Alabama? Toning the Sweep by Angela Johnson--a really good book, too, that I'd read a few years previously and liked. Actually, this year we got free books, too, between the Metro stop and the festival a few girls were handing out books, but I don't know the author. Nice catch, though. I'll never complain about free books! At the Pavilion of States, though no free books, I did get this fancy-schmancy bracelet from Colorado! My first ever of these popular plastic/rubber things and from my home state. Yeah!

And thanks to Kim for not getting us caught up in the states, we made it to Gaiman's talk on time. Not in time to get good seats, but I'm not sure we would even have had seats if we'd tried sitting down half an hour early, when we arrived at the festival. He had a packed audience. We were in the back, as evidenced in my shot. I tried doing a zoom, but I couldn't angle the camera well enough, so that result was only a dark spot of canvas. Oh well. I was there, I promise!

One of the blogs I follow described his performance pretty well, so I won't try to top her: Read Write Believe . I will say that I'm pretty intrigued by The Graveyard Book, though. And it seems everyone else in attendance was as well, because it was sold out at the book sales tent. Oh well. I need to curb my book spending anyway, and although it was nice for him to cut some red tape to get the book sold at the festival a few days before it's release, I probably wouldn't have read it in those two days anyway, and even if I do buy it, I'm sure I can get a better price than full anyway--thank you Borders for your many coupons, and Amazon for "used and new" independent sellers.

After Gaiman, we went over to see Doreen Kronin and Betsy Lewin, the collaborating team who produced the Click, Clack, Moo! series. But we arrived early and saw the last bit of David Shannon's presentation, author of No David! series. He was pretty funny. He drew a picture of David, explaining the reasoning for the shapes and attributes of all of his facial features. Jagged teeth because he doesn't brush and eats too much candy, triangle nose because it's been broken too many times, and a naughty eyebrow and an "I didn't mean to" eyebrow. Very clever. It was no surprise, seeing the real David, that the pictures were drawn of himself by himself when he was little. Definitely some resemblance.

So, we didn't have seats for Shannon, but hoped some people would clear out. No such luck. Only a small handful moved. We did sit though, insistent upon it after standing for the past hour or so, on the grass with the kiddies. Pretty good seat for me, got some good shots, but I guess some of the kiddos were a little too wiggly for Kim. Woops.

So about Kronin and Lewin--

Although they indicated they see each other once a year, their performance made it clear to me they weren't accustomed to working with each other. This didn't surprise me too much-- typically authors just send their manuscripts to the publisher and the publisher then to the illustrator and the author rarely has anything to say about the illustrations. But the odd thing about their show was that they seemed to be trying to work together, but they weren't. Kronin was taking the lead and seeming to forget that she had a partner, so Lewin would step in to remind the kids that illustrators were important too, and that just like they were all writers (as was the platform of many of the children's authors), they were also all illustrators.

I'm glad Lewin did step in to say this, though--it's very important for kids and everyone to realize all of their talents are worth developing. But as for the "everyone" thing, the jury is still out on this one. It came across a little trite to me, and while I would encourage all children and people to write, I'm not sure it's really doing them a service to tell them they are something if they really aren't. Will they live a life feeling like a failure because they just can't muster very good creative stories? Well, not too likely, but still, the fact that some people never will muster a very good creative story is evidence enough that the line is just a gimick. Come on. It's just bad rhetoric. But I guess in this world of bad rhetoric all over the political landscape, it's not surprising to find it in all fields. Okay, so there's my platform for you. They did a few things well, however. They involved the audience in helping to create afun story about a pig and a tiger. It was funny to hear the kids' responses.

After that, we were pretty ready for lunch, and well, hadn't though about planning in advance so got the over-priced mall food, a 3$ hot dog for me. Sheesh! And 6$ chicken and fries for Kim. Hers was a little more reasonable, and more filling, but I only had 4$ cash on me. She shared her fries. So nice.

The next speaker I wanted to see was good ol' Jon Scieszka, but he wasn't speaking until 2:45, so we had about an hour to kill. Fortunately, Doreen Rappaport and Kadir Nelson were slotted in that time frame and for about that long. And they were pretty good. Rappaport repeated that "everyone's a writer" thing, but otherwise, she did fine--lots of enthusiasm, and I loved how she explained all the research she did to find the story of Abraham Lincoln, showing how research and "homework" can be fun, which Nelson reiterated when he took the mike, making a nice unified presentation, though they hadn't apparently planned that. That is, curiously, unlike the previous author-illustrator duo, they made no pretense about working together. First she spoke, ending with her gratitude for a great illustrator to help tell the story, and then let him take over.

His part was really fun, too. He started off a little dry, telling about the research --dry sounding voice that is, but he actually did intrigue me about the research and homework needed for illustrating. Made me think more about that as a fun continuing-education job, that I would appreciate. But then he got fun, calling for volunteer children to come forward to be his models--one as the horse and one as Abraham Lincoln. The kid who played Abe made comments and corrections the whole time, telling him the head was too big, or Abe Lincoln didn't really look like that. It was pretty funny.

Then, finally, the highlight of the day! Jon Scieszka, recently chosen as the first ambassador of children's literature by the librarian of Congress. Sara also wrote about his: Read Write Believe . But I'll add that he also pushed his book about Trucks, still presenting himself as a versatile writer of many genres. And he was indeed, as funny in person as on the page. You'll have to go to the Library of Congress webcasts when they're up.

A Few of My Favorite Things

2008-09-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

My Favorites Right Now Are:

Food: cookies

Drink: water

Fruit: bananas

Ice cream: moose tracks

Candy bar: Twix

Music: MoTab

TV Show: The Cosby Show

Movie:

Book: The Goose Girl

Sound: friends talking to me

Smell: vanilla and cotton

Sight: pretty things, natural

Touch: the pages of a book, friends' hands

Taste: brushed teeth

PB Follow-up, Floppy Transferral

2008-09-26T06:01:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I actually wrote that pb post yesterday, but I was going to edit it last night and didn't. (So the yesterday's and today's make sense in it)

But the story continues. So, I was going to post that old poem into that post, thinking it was an old file I'd emailed to myself when I cleared out my last computer. But alas, the poem hadn't made it into that computer--only to an old floppy. I was almost devastated.

I have a number of files on old floppies, and some of them I've even wanted to find in the past year or so, but have been unable to retrieve them because so few computers have floppy drives any more. But wonder of wonders, I noticed the computer I'm on now--this temp assignment's computer--has a floppy drive! Hallelujah! And good timing too, because today is my last day here.

I brought in my bag of floppies this morning, not quite sure how to secure all those many files, but figuring emailing if nothing else. But then, great joy, I remembered I had a stick in my purse, a relatively new one with lots of free space. More Hallelujahs! And, transferring files from floppy to stick is something you can do while slapping stickers on folders. And yes, that's important. (I'm interspersing sticker slapping now, as I write in fact, as well--just in case you were interested.)

So this morning in no time I transferred the files from 6 floppies to my stick, and I still have tons of room on the stick. Amazing, technology is. I just hope sticks don't go out of fashion.

Anyway, so here's the poem:
Peanut Butter Biscuits Oct. 1993
PB biscuits brightened my hard day
When I cam home from class in the usual way
PB biscuits were so sweet to eat
I would like to have them for my afternoon treat
PB biscuits surprised me so much
When nothing but them could I eat for lunch
PB biscuits left my stomach full
After only a few--and that ain’t no bull.
PB biscuits can be your friend, too
When you feel so sad that your fingers turn blue
PB biscuits will warm you up nice
When you’re desperate enough to heed my advice.

Wow--I even call pb a friend back then, too. It must be true.

Missing Peanut Butter

2008-09-25T12:06:00.000-07:00

I like peanut butter. I mean, I'm not in love with it, not going to marry it, probably not even date it. Honestly, it's just a friend! But I do like it, a lot. I like the taste and smell and texture, particularly crunchy. I like it in cookies and cakes and brownies and ice cream and yes, even sandwiches. I also like it on crackers and celery and pancakes. In college, many years ago, I wrote a poem about the peace and joy I received from eating peanut buttered biscuits. But oh! with all of these, the joy is doubled when you add chocolate to the mix. mmm MMM. Okay, so since there was some lip-smacking action, maybe we were really good friends.

But it doesn't matter, because it's all over anyway. See, unfortunately, a couple years ago I noticed my head start to tighten up when I'd eat certain things with peanuts, and eventually, eating peanuty things produced full-on migraines. No fun at all. Every once in awhile I'll be unable to resist and eat some peanut M&Ms are some small peanut thing, but I don't own any peanut butter any more.

For the most part, I've gotten by just fine without it. Dessert tables usually include plenty of non-peanuty treats, and I manage to avoid buying such for myself. My sandwiches have ham and cheese, which is probably better anyway, to help me with the calcium. Though peanut butter and cheese isn't really that bad, ham is probably a little less fattening.

Last night, however, I was rummaging for a snack and found the best option was some freezer waffles--low fat, I'll add, and with strawberries. They're pretty good. But I found what I really, really wanted to put on them was peanut butter. It was an interesting feeling, not a craving like I sometimes get for chocolate, that anxious feeling of needing chocolate like you see depicted in commercials all over the place. It was more of this melancholy feeling you get when you look at pictures of old friends. And as for a friend, I might have risked a migraine for it. But well, I couldn't really justify going to buy a whole tub. Still, last night, I was really missing my old friend peanut butter.

I settled for jam.

Wink, wink

2008-09-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

So it’s the last day of summer, officially. Did I get my goals done? Nope. Well, I mean not the critical draft I’d hoped to get done. The writing is no further along than when I last wrote about it, but at least I did make progress on it this summer. However, I have continued reading. The books took a little longer to arrive than I'd expected, though still on time. But I have them all now and have started reading all three of them.

One of them I’d thought wasn’t worth it after a few pages, partly because there were about 10 winks per page and obnoxious dialog tags on a few pages, and the description of the campus and the new roommates meeting each other took over the plot, leaving no room for movement to the conflict—other than to repeat a few more times what continues to be repeated, and was already iterated from the beginning a few times, that the main female character had her heart broken and wants nothing to do with men. Kind of cliché in the first place.

But something told me to keep going, so I did, and I’ve actually found she’s done some things really well, with some reminders to me on things in my own story that I could stand to pump up a bit, like a physical description of the bishop and his counselors. Woops.

I also still don’t have much of a physical description of Dinah, my main female character. But this didn't require reminding. I knew that. I'm just not really sure what she looks like. But more than that, I’m not highly convinced that it’s significant. Somewhat, I suppose, but not the specifics. And maybe even her not being described has the significance I want. That is, I don’t want her to be incredibly beautiful, contributing to the myth that you have to be pretty to get a good guy. In fact, I actually did indicate, by comparison to the Melanie character, that she’s not overwhelmingly beautiful. But on the other hand, for the number of guys who consider her toward the end, reality dictates that she can’t really be a dog either. Is there anything wrong with letting the reader’s imagination take over completely there? Everyone has different ideas about what beautiful is, anyway. And frankly, with these romances that I’m reading, okay particularly this one I'm writing about now, the author describes the main female character's looks quite a bit--and quite a bit too often. It kind of makes me gag every time I hear about her beautiful hair cascading over her shoulders, and sunlight catching a sparkle in it. Maybe I’m not cut out for this romance crap, writing genre.

But I was talking about the good things the author’s done. She does have plenty of good descriptions of the surrounding area that 1. don’t mask the plot, and 2. keep her from having talking heads. Those are good things. And she does get over, to a certain degree, the need to reiterate the main female character’s worry about more heartaches. After the bombardment of winks, the plot does moves forward, too, with the characters getting to know each other and thereby revealing other significant aspects of their personalities to the reading audience. They do keep winking at each other, which gets really annoying, but otherwise she uses good verbs and good language. I don’t recall too many metaphors, or images like that, but the story moves along okay anyway.

So in the end, I might even say I'd recommend it to some young LDS people. I still need to finish it to be sure. As I've kind of indicated, I still have some issues with it, and even some I haven't mentioned. So, yes, I am all the more convinced that the LDS-romance-genre publishers could use some improvement in the editing department. However, I should also end saying I've got some issues with my own writing as well. It's not easy to write a novel, especially without the help of editors who know that people don't really wink at each other that much. Wink, wink.

Old book storage project

2008-09-21T18:51:00.000-07:00

This post probably should have been written quite awhile ago, but I haven't been taking too many photos lately so these were sitting in my camera until today. But alas, here they are--from that project I mentioned awhile ago about my book storage improvement--I painted these crates that I received from a former co-worker back in 2004 when she downsized from a house to a condo, and I was living by myself and grateful for furniture. But they were just old crates, with some jagged splinters. So, having some free time when I came back from Roanoke before starting my first temp assignment, I sanded them down and painted them with some paint I bought back in 2002 when I was going to paint a room I changed my mind about moving into.
The weather was beautiful at that time, late July. I mean, as long as I didn't have to wear a suit that is :)--actually, it was nicer these days than that day, but i also wore shorts and a T-shirt.

And good thing the weather was good because I ended up needing to spend more time than expected outside the following day or two since I made a big mess on the patio. I probably should have looked harder for some plastic or newspaper or something I could lay down, but I was on half-brain mode or something. Instead, I ended up running to Home Depot where they laughed at my predicament and suggested some concrete cleaner, which I happily bought, along with some gloves and sponges. But when I got home and read the instructions, I realized this was stuff you needed a big machine for, like street cleaners. Uh-uh. Not buying or renting one of those. It said you could also try using a mop, so I ran across the street thinking I could buy one of those at the grocery store rather than running down to Home Depot again, but then surprised myself to realize we have a Lowe's right there. So I went in there, looking for a mop or something, and found this other, cheaper and easier paint cleaner thing, took it home and got to work. Most of the paint came off that afternoon. There are still a few peachish speckles, I think, but not too bad.

Now to add to the story, my book collection has also dwindled since this project, though I don't regret it by any means. But I happily remembered during the right season (August-September, text-book buying season) to list some old books on Amazon to sell. Net loss, of course, but at least I got some money back for books I haven't needed and don't care to keep. I love Amazon

Photoshop Phun

2008-09-14T19:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes on Sunday, tired of writing from the rest of the week, I like to mess around with photos I've taken in days past. That's something I did today. Here are a few images I'm pretty pleased with that I made today. Aren't they fun?

Due Date, Progress Report

2008-09-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

Though the weather is cooling and school is in session, technically, summer still has just less than two weeks left. However, I gave myself a slightly earlier deadline for my summer goals, didn't I? Actually, looking at it now, I realize I was off a little. I'd been thinking it was today, but it was two days ago! Aaah! I'm further behind than I realized.

1. Finish creative draft of thesis (I'm giving myself til Sept 7)
--I'm close. Really. As we speak I'm on p. 172 of 251 in the final editing revision before I hand it back to my advisor.

2. Have a draft of my critical part
--I have 9 pages written and I've read most of the books I'm going to incorporate. I've ordered a couple more that I'm curious about, but they may or may not get included. I also have some quotes found. It's progress. Maybe a real sketchy draft by the end of the actual summer.

3. Exercise 2x a week
--I might have missed a couple weeks, only exercise once, but I did go out at least once a week all summer. And since I've been working again, I've gone out at least four times a week. So that should make up for those other weeks, right? :}

4. Attend the temple each month
--Missed July by a hair. I planned to go the day I drove back from Roanoke, but I got a later start than I'd planned. Then I was going to go the following Tuesday, but they closed for the cleaning! Argh.

5. Get a job
--At least I didn't say "full-time direct-hire" because I don't have that. But I have a temp job, and am still applying for the other.

Something about Pizza

2008-09-04T09:53:00.000-07:00

When I was in that two-jobs situation a couple weeks ago, I had this certain craving for pizza when I came home Monday night, the first night. I think it might have been a growing desire from the atmosphere in the evening job. But I gave in on Monday night and for the first time in several years actually ordered myself some pizza. (Don't worry, I didn't eat it all in one day.)

I was thinking then that it had to have something to do with the work atmosphere. Working late hours, staring at a computer, perhaps, I thought, reminded me of my high school days of working on the newspaper. When we had layout nights (These were old-school days. We had a light board on which we laid regular newspaper-page sized pieces of tagboard with the article/photo layout sketched on them in pencil. Layout nights came toward the end when the articles were copy-edited (by me), some writers finished writing theirs, and the section editors cut and glued the articles and photos in place.) Sometimes it took a few nights, depending on how far behind we were, in order to reach our deadlines. Ideally, it was only supposed to take one night. In any case, we stayed late hours sometimes and always ordered pizza.

The data entry evening job I had a couple weeks ago wasn't as stimulating as working on the newspaper, but it was working late, as I already described.

Well, then last night I had this craving again to order pizza. I didn't this time. Neither my body nor my wallet can budget that. I contented myself with tuna and chips. But where was the craving coming from? I hadn't worked late, and I definitely wasn't doing stimulating work. But I had worked all day--slapping sticker on envelopes. Actually something I've done too much of in the past week--data entry, slapping stickers and stuffing envelopes. It's mind numbing. Seriously. And that made me think that yes, pizza ordering is also associated with brainless work--something to add comfort to long hours of nothingness. It probably doesn't help either that there's a pizza place walking distance from here--like on the same block walking distance.

And there I have one more reason that I really need to find more stimulating employment. I can't be craving pizza all the time.

Living Prophets

2008-08-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

Last week I taught Relief Society, Lesson #16 in the Joseph Smith manual, and the lesson went pretty well. I didn't have time to cover everything, which quite often happens, but we had a good discussion with the material we did cover.

It was a good lesson for me particularly to give for a few reasons. (I think the Lord does that on purpose.) But one of those reasons has been on my mind both from when I first read the lesson to now a week later--well longer really, but I'll get to that.

The title of the lesson was Revelation and the Living Prophet, and so of course it dealt with modern revelation. It's a great thing. I'm so glad to live during a time when the fullness of the gospel is on the Earth so I can benefit from living prophets. I've tried following their counsel for many, many years.

In fact, I think I've addressed one of these before, at the time Pres. Hinckley passed away. That is, when Pres. Benson was the prophet, he asked us to read the Book of Mormon every day. And so, with very few exceptions, I have been doing that for many, many years. And then in 2000, I remember reading in the R.S./Priesthood manual of that time--(I think it was Joseph F. Smith), that the prophet of focus, encouraged the saints to read from all of the scriptures every day--Bible, Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants. I'll confess I haven't done it every day, but at least a few times a week, I try to read from the other books in the canon. And I love the scriptures more, I think, from becoming familiar with them in this way.

So, you're wondering, where am I going with this? It is good just to bear my testimony, I guess, but there's another point.

In the lesson is this quote that I actually heard some time when I was at BYU from a returned missionary, maybe he was my home teacher, I don't remember. I don't even remember who it was, just that it was an RM. Anyway, we were talking about daily scripture study and he said that he reads general conference talks every day and not from the other scriptures (I don't recall if it was ever or not as much), because of this quote. (Though I'm sure he paraphrased it and didn't have the source, so I've long wondered what the actually quote was--nice to have these manuals now!)

"Brother Brigham took the stand, and he took the Bible, and laid it down; he took the Book of Mormon, and laid it down; and he took the Book of Doctrine and Covenants, and laid it down before him, and he said: ‘There is the written word of God to us, concerning the work of God from the beginning of the world, almost, to our day. And now,’ said he, ‘when compared with the [living] oracles those books are nothing to me; those books do not convey the word of God direct to us now, as do the words of a Prophet or a man bearing the Holy Priesthood in our day and generation. I would rather have the living oracles than all the writing in the books.’"

At the time, it struck me a little funny because I felt like a contradiction. The prophet had told me (us--everyone) to read the Book of Mormon every day, so that's what I was doing, and now this guy was insinuating that I should instead just be reading conference talks every day.

Well, as indicated already, I didn't stop reading the BoM every day because of that, but the conversation has stuck with me and even in teaching the quote in Relief Society last week, I've wondered how I'm supposed to address it, both in the lesson and in my life. What is its significance?

First, I think it's important to recognize that the gospel doesn't ever change. Last Saturday night, before giving the lesson, I ran through the most recent conference addresses just to verify my supposition, which was confirmed--that every single talk, with the exception of Pres. Monson's concluding remarks, incorporated verses from the ancient canon. And even in Pres. Monson's concluding remarks, although verses were not included, the principles he touched on could have been referenced to other scriptures easily enough.

So I came up with a few analogies, hoping to understand. The first I thought of was it's like the difference between canned fruit and fresh fruit. It's the same thing, but one is a little better for you--coming more recently from the vine. But that's not the whole sense of it. I also thought of it being like a snowball vs. a snowman. There are snowballs in the snowman but there's a lot more there and it's applied to your current situation. That's another aspect of it, but still not the whole sense. And then I thought it's like if you could only shop from one store for a whole year, would you shop at a store with vintage clothing or would you shop at Super Wal-Mart where you can get your clothes and food and a variety of other needed items as well? Well of course, you'd take the latter. Even if you don't particularly like Wal-Mart. But that's not the point. I think all of these analogies have some relevance, and of course, no analogy is ever complete and you can always take one too far and it loses its validity.

But I think the last was most helpful for me. The fact is that we're not limited to one store per year. But that's kind of the point Brigham Young was making. "I would rather have"--is a conditional clause. That means that there's an "if" attached to it, even if not uttered. And it seems natural to assume that the "if" here would be "if I had to choose between one and the other." And he also indicates why--because we need the words of the prophet's today for our today's need. But how can he say this and at the same time have a prophet say we need to read the Book of Mormon every day? Because the principles are all the same, and the living prophets are going to be very familiar with the ancient prophets, so for us to have a better understanding of what the living prophets are telling us, we need to understand how the Lord worked yesterday. It helps us understand how He works today and love Him more.

So in the end, who was right? Me or the RM? Well, actually neither one of us. We both should have been reading both the conference addresses and the Book of Mormon. And so, well, I've tried at various times in the past to do better at reading conference talks, but it hasn't stuck like it should. So that was another reason I needed this lesson, to bring that back to me. I've been reading them again this week, and it's been great with every talk I've read. So much amazing stuff! How blessed I am to have these words in my life. I know they're from the Lord, and I write these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Evening Job

2008-08-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

I quit the evening job. It was too much. And it's been amazing to see what a little more sleep can do.
I suppose I still feel like I have two jobs, though. Writing takes up so much of my time. But I finished round 3 since receiving my thesis advisor's comments, which would actually be round 6 total, I guess. But I felt pretty good about this one, will probably run through it one more time before giving it back, but I'm back thinking what am I going to do when it's done now? It's like sending a child off to school.
Well, I suppose it's an easy enough fix--just write another book, right?

Widgets and Google

2008-08-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine had the widget you now see at the bottom left--a pretty cool little thing to see what sites and what cities people come from. Funny, too, to see what Google searches bring people here, though I'm sure in all of those cases they're disappointed. For example, someone looked for "mourning Seuss" and came here because I had a post about mourning and Seuss appeared in my book list. And then today I noticed someone had searched "tennis love stories books" and pulled up my "Love the Tennis Way, Kind of." Oh, and about that, I have since learned that love is just plain zero. Did I ever go back and edit that? I don't think so. Not that it has any terrible significance to the post, but it's interesting nonetheless. And then the other poor person, searched for Roald Dahl the Twits and landed on "Writer's Block"--not sure exactly how that happened, but I'm sure it helped not at all. In any case, pretty funny what searches will bring you to. Anyone stay thanks to a funny search? :)

Worrkkk

2008-08-19T13:04:00.000-07:00

So, what am I doing now? Don't you love when that question shows up in the your status line on Facebook? Uh--I'm reading "what are you doing right now?" on your website. That's what I'm doing. What about you?

Maybe you don't use Facebook--that might be a good thing.

But I have enjoyed it for getting back in touch with some old friends from my home town as well as keeping in touch even with people in the DC area that I never see any more or who have moved to other parts of the country. I think I love it best when they post pictures and share their life, as well as reading those statuses. It's a nice way to keep in touch, so I would recommend Facebook. Just avoid the games. Some terribly addictive.

But aside from that, I'm working. And two jobs! I'm not sure how long this can go on, but I started one job last week, by recommendation of my roommate--a data entry job, just in the evenings. It doesn't pay terrifly well (I'm editing now--that isn't so much of a typo as it looks--I was trying to decide between terrifically and terribly, hadn't realized though that I'd merged them), but not as bad as temp jobs outside of the DC area still. And since it's in the evening, I thought that would be something I might be able to stick with when I did get a day job to help pay off these debts I have.

And it so happened that the day after I started there, the temp company that I've worked for for the past 1 1/2 years called with a job in Alexandria, really close actually, a job I can drive to, so have my car with me, as well as having hours that would permit me to get to the evening job on time. And though it's rush hour, I'm driving against traffic. Nice.

And so as of yesterday, I've had two jobs. It's pretty rough, as two jobs tend to be, I guess. The temp day job is 8-5 and the evening from 5:30 to 10:30. So I leave at 7:30 and don't get home til 11:00. :(

The good thing about the day job, though, is that I have time to write, as I appreciate. And the evening job keeps me busy for the full five hours, so I'm not at home wasting time with stupid tv shows that I'm getting tired of and only watch because I'm too tired to think about doing something else or too tired of doing the same thing I've been doing all day--likely writing or playing stupid computer games that I need to stop doing anyway.

Anyway, the other interesting thing about the day job is that it's for the same company that wasn't happy about my not wearing a suit to the interview. It's a different location--their warehouse. I still have to dress nice, but not in a suit. Thank goodness!

Birthday Meme

2008-08-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

Hey, I know, I've been absent for awhile. I think it's because I'm so concentrated on my thesis I can hardly think enough about other things to write a sentence. Maybe. Sorry for my neglect. But I've been reading some other blogs and a friend did this, so I thought it sounded fun. Play if you want.

Look up your birthday in Wikipedia. Pick 4 events, 3 births, 2 deaths, and 1 holiday.

July 21

Events:

1949 - The United States Senate ratifies the North Atlantic Treaty.
1969 - Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin become the first men to walk on the Moon, during the Apollo 11 mission.
1970 - After 11 years of construction, the Aswan High Dam in Egypt is completed.
1997 - The fully restored USS Constitution (aka "Old Ironsides") celebrates her 200th birthday by setting sail for the first time in 116 years.

Births:

1899 - Ernest Hemingway, American writer, Nobel laureate (d. 1961)
1924 - Don Knotts, American actor (d. 2006)
1992 - Rachael Flatt, American figure skater

Deaths:

1403 - Henry Percy, English nobleman and soldier (b. ca.1364)
1998 - Alan Shepard, astronaut (b. 1923)

Holiday

Singapore: Racial Harmony Day